These Are Your Sketchiest Public Transit Stories

My daughter and I went to watch the Portland E-Prix this summer and our ride back on the Tri-Met MAX was interesting, to say the least.

Shortly after we boarded the blue-line two gentlemen boarded at the station, on separate ends of the train car. Both of them were, very obviously, under the influence of some substance. One of them started yelling incoherent things at other passengers, and I guess the other wanted to join in the “fun”.

For an entire hour, both men were having, what can only be described as, a back and forth conversation at the top of their lungs. However, despite it being a back and forth conversation, it was not the same conversation, nor was any of it coherent.

The conversation ended when one of the participants got off at their stop, but the other person proceeded to make physical threats against fellow passengers. This lasted only two more stops before he was unceremoniously removed from the train by the local police.

Submitted by: Matt DeZinno

In the early 1990s, I took the commuter rail from Boston to Providence to an interview. A girl started to chat me up. Usually I avoid this; but she wasn’t in my space, so I figured what the hell. It was a nice chat; by the time we rolled into Providence, she asked if I liked Santana and I said yes. She said she had some extra tickets and asked if I wanted to go. I said thank you, but that I wasn’t sure about my plans after the interview. All cool. I told my girlfriend (my ex-wife) when I got home and she got really mad because she said that girl was trying to pick me up and what was I doing talking to another girl?

Suggested by: radioout

...the local bus service at the time, from Kilmarnock to Galston. The last bus ran through the housing scheme. At one point the road was blocked, so the driver was forced to get out and go ringing on doorbells to see if he could get folks to move their cars to let the bus through. I was fifteen, and I was the only passenger, and it was fucking spooky. I did learn why Jesus wasn’t born in Ayrshire though: Not even God could find three wise men [and a virgin] round there, as far as the driver’s opinion on the matter.

Suggested by: plant_daily

I was a suburban kid with either no busses or no need for busses depending where I was living at the time. We went to visit relatives in Milwaukee one summer, and my cousin invited us downtown and to get there we had to take the city bus. “Don’t stare, and don’t make eye-contact” were the instructions he gave us, and for much of the trip it was a total non-issue. Then came the unshaven man wearing an undershirt and boxer shorts, carrying a brief case. Suddenly it was really hard not to stare...

Suggested by: dug deep

I was taking transit home, heavily inebriated, middle of February, middle of the night, and on my last transfer, the streetcar driver insisted I didn’t have a valid transfer and was trying to kick me off. Now, I’m not sure if it was because I’d been in transit so long (including at least one half-hour wait for the next vehicle) that my legitimate transfer had expired, or just that I was not in a state to recognize which transfer in my coat was the right one. Either way, I refuse to get off, so the driver calls the cops, who then show up and just tell the driver to let me go home so long as I keep it together (probably more than a bit of white privilege in that outcome).

Suggested by: Maymar

I took a Greyhound bus from San Antonio to Houston once, about 15 years ago. It was oversold, so there were literally 3 people crouched or laying in the aisle. About 30 minutes in, someone threw up in the aisle, so all the people tried to shove their way into the already-full seats.

Halfway to Houston, the bus broke down. The driver told us to stay in the bus until a replacement bus was sent from San Antonio to pick us up, but we all said fuck that and exited the baking-hot vomit tube. No bus ever came from San Antonio, and Greyhound had to send several huge vans to pick us up, which arrived after we’d been sitting in 100+ heat for about 3 hours. We got to Houston about 6 hours after we left San Antonio.

I will never, not even at gunpoint, take a Greyhound bus again. Getting shot would be vastly preferable.

Suggested by: Segador

Man, I wish my wife followed this page.

She used to be a public bus driver in Joliet, IL.

She would come home from work with stories of passengers trying to get on her bus with 2 gallons of soda in a plastic bag that had a pinhole in it and was leaking.... guys sitting there spanking their monkey.... 1 lady who claimed the 3 squirrels on her shoulder were “support animals”....

Suggested by: Scott Donovan

We were on the Go Train coming back from some event. We were sitting in the accessibility coach with my Mother-in-Law and her walker.

Most of the seats were full and a group of 3 came on. One of the three had a walking cast on her foot. They found a row of seats that were sideways and sat down. At the next stop, the person with the cast got up and went to one of the pods with the seats facing each other and said she was handicapped and they needed to give up their seats so she could sit facing her sister to talk.

The group refused. The Customer service Agent got involved after a couple minutes. They argued back and forth for a bit with the Karen screaming at the person in the quad seating that “That’s not very Christian” and the other woman responding back “I’m not a Christian”. We were across the aisle watching this and I laughed at the statement.

The Karen glared at me and I said you already had a seat. She turned back to look where she had been sitting and her sister had already quietly gotten up and left the car. The Karen took her old seat and at the next stop started wandering the train to finder her sister.

Suggested by: canucksalaryman-hates-kinja