Photo: Jurassic Park

To anyone who has never had something embarrassing happen to them in their car: Get lost. This post isn’t for you. This one is for all the people who have had shameful stuff happen to them in their cars. We are here for you.

Last week, I asked you guys for the most shameful car secrets. I was looking for secrets that you’ve promised to take to the gave. Stuff that barely anyone knows about you. That’s the magic I wanted.

As I am sure that those of you reading this post have some semblance of empathy, these stories might make you cringe. Or maybe laugh. But that’s okay. Laughter is the first step of healing.

Because that’s what we’re about here at Jalopnik: Healing.

Booger (Flavortaste)

Dude!

Advertisement

Goodbye (river-why)

This one hurts me.

Advertisement

Direct Hit (A. Barth)

Ten points!

Advertisement

Four Secrets (MsMenstruation)

Wait wait wait wait I want to hear more about No. 2.

Advertisement

Don’t Tell Anyone (LTT)

Just my advice.

Advertisement

Brake Lights (setheroo)

They’re... overrated? Yeah, let’s go with that.

Advertisement

‘Stang (AtLeastItsBlue)

I guess Mustang behavior isn’t just limited to America.

Advertisement

Mall Rats (Brent)

Smoooooooth.

Advertisement

“Racing” “Stripes” (McGrillus Flaxseed)

Oh, honey.

Advertisement

Ninety-Eight Bucks (vwpat)

You just leave them there, right?

Advertisement

Runaway (Elhigh)

Advertisement

High School (MichaelNorton55)

We were all in high school once.

Advertisement

Teenage Dream (Kasstastrophy)

Nice.

Advertisement

Drowning (jsc_007)

You should have called Jolie Kerr.

Advertisement

Parking Foul (Acidboogie)

I also park far away for fear of this.

Advertisement

Total Destruction (Mirror Universe Stig)

What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Advertisement

Mustang Again (Cory)

Those damn V6 Mustangs.