These Are Much Worse Names For Well-Known Car Parts

Illustration for article titled These Are Much Worse Names For Well-Known Car Parts

I was thinking about the word “supercharger” the other day—that’s a hell of a word. It doesn’t really tell you exactly how it works, that it’s a belt-driven compressor for the fuel/air mixture, but who cares? Supercharging just sounds like hot shit. It’s a good name for that device. Now, since I have a problem where anytime I think about something good I immediately also think about something terrible, I started to wonder about the worst possible names for car-related stuff.

I’m talking about names that just sound sort of wrong or unsettling; names that technically make sense, in a way, but just don’t feel right. Like, say, calling a V8 engine a ‘crotch-8’ engine, because, well, crotches are sort of V-shaped, too, really. But it’s just not right.

So, let’s treat this as a sort of goofy little quiz, why not? I’ll give you ten really crappy names for car things you’ll know, and you can try and figure out what the real name is.

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Sound good? Too bad:

1. Close-face explosion bag

2. Wastesqueezer

3. Skyhole

4. Mixture Ejaculators

5. Flap Depressor

6. Freeloader Front Motivation/Freeloader Rear Motivation/Freeloader-Free Motivation

7. Failure Plugs

8. Intention Pulsers

9. Pinchdiscs

10. Cogrod

Click here for answers!

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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DISCUSSION

Oddly enough I too was thinking about the word “supercharger” tonight, because for the first time I saw in person a Tesla power station (with “TESLA” brand charger stands) back behind the gas station where I stopped to buy a beer.

It pissed me right off. “Supercharger” is a car-related word, with a fairly precise consensus-agreed definition, and then some fucking ad guy decided, “Let’s take this respectable, unoffending word and rudely slap it onto another car-related thing, which, however, has nothing to do with the original referent. That’ll confuse ‘em! Ha ha ha!” These fucking ad guys; they hate us, and want us to go mad.

Yet at the same time I was admiring the way Tesla Corp. has put these, arrgh, “S****charger” stations all over the place. What extraordinary good sense. If, or I should say now when, electric cars really take off in this country, then the necessary precondition will have been the establishment of fast chargers from coast to coast. Which car manufacturers sat around and waited for somebody else to do it? Which company actually got off their asses and did it?