The Worst Test Drive You Will Ever See Full Of Profanities And Racism

Most times when you take a car for a test drive before you buy it, it goes pleasantly enough. You see if the seat's comfy, you feel the suspension, maybe even try out the acceleration a bit. What you don't do is start screaming profanity and racial insults. Unless you're this lady.


We come into the conversation midway through a test drive in Hawaii, where the guy in the passenger seat, ostensibly trying to sell the car, admonishes the driver that he doesn't appreciate the way he's being spoken to:

Driver: Well, I don't appreciate the way you spoke to me.

Sounds civil enough. To start.

Driver: You should've just minded your fucking business.


Passenger: I asked you to slow down because you were doing 70 in a 35, ma'am.

That's a reasonable request. Please, especially when driving someone else's car, obey speed limits.

D: And I do this all the fucking time!

Dude, jump. Just tuck and roll. Clearly you've got someone who thinks they're Ayrton Senna on your hands. They are not even Bruno Senna. Save yourself.

P: That doesn't make it okay.

You're trying to reason with her. I really don't think this is going to a good place.

D: Doesn't matter! It's my test! Not yours!

(This is not accurate. It does matter.)

P: It's my life!

Yeah, I think you're beyond pleading for your life. Passed that point a long time ago. Might as well strap in, because this is going to be one long ride.

D: I told you to get out.

Ma'am, I'm sorry, but it is not your car. You can't just drive off with it.

It sort of continues in this incredibly uncomfortable fashion for a while, before she tells him that she "knows the system," and how people "like you" act.

Yes, people "like you." You can probably see where this is going.

But not before another stream of profanities first, mostly involve her telling him to please be quiet, except she didn't say "please be quiet," because that would be a nice thing to say. The driver is clearly not nice, on this test drive.


Finally, after some more ugly screaming from the driver, we get to the inglorious climax, when she calls him a "haole." Haole, for people who have never been to Hawaii, is the Hawaiian word for someone who is not from the Pacific island state. More commonly, it's used as a derogatory term for white people.

It's generally not considered appropriate, in the same way that racially insulting a pleasant-sounding car dealership salesman is not generally considered appropriate. This test drive just went from "uncomfortable argument between strangers" to "most awkward test drive the world has ever seen."


Luckily, when the passenger calls her out on her vile racist vitriol, she has an effective defense:

D: I am not fucking prejudiced, you fucking asshole.

Welp, I guess that settles that, then.

P: Ma'am, I simply asked you to slow down. That was all I did.

Jeez. Poor guy.

I hope she bought the car. Can't beat a sale.



Speaking for the Hawaiians seeing this: Awe! So Shame!

Love how the sales guy turned his pidgin on towards the end. Yes, he was pushing her buttons too.

Haole, literally translated, is "not of the same breath." Just so happened caucasians were the first to get stuck with it and it's derogatory connotation. In Hawaii, you need to earn your stripes and assimilate before you're looked at as local. So, military and tourist aren't exactly accepted with open arms all the time. There's a self-entitled lack of respect a lot of these visitors bring.

I'm a hapa, but look white. Not once have I ever been called a haole.