The TSA's Freudian Craigslist Slip

Illustration for article titled The TSA's Freudian Craigslist Slip

Either someone just attempted the subtlest of jabs at our nation's force of uncomfortably invasive rent-a-cops or the recruiters at the Transportation Security Administration need to invest in a better thesaurus. A job posting on the Ann Arbor, Michigan Craigslist invites would-be screeners to "[b]e part of a imperious security team protecting airports and skies as you proudly establish your future."


Imperious, indeed.

The definition of imperious is "domineering in a haughty manner; dictatorial; overbearing." The definition from Google is even better, describing it as "assuming authority without justification."

If it was a joke I'd assume the posting would be made elsewhere, but it's only been posted in Ann Arbor. But what word could they mean instead if it's real? Imperative? Impetuous? The rest of the text is also a mess, which screams either that this is a fake… or a federal government employee.

Either way, I've emailed the poster curious if this might actually be a great jab or a bad job.

Here's the full posting below, in case it's pulled:

Transportation Security Officers (Ann Arbor)
See the individual you are in a vital position for our security firm where you implement security-screening procedures that counter deadly or dangerous objects from being smuggled onto an aircraft. Be part of a imperious security team protecting airports and skies as you proudly establish your future.

Minimum Qualifications:
1. You must be a U.S. Citizen
2. You are required to have a high school diploma or equivalent

PT, full training
• Location: Ann Arbor
• Compensation: $17 per hour
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 2926913263


(Hat tip to Anthony!)

Photo Credit: Getty Images


BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast.

"Now we'll show her who is in charge of this airport.

[A TSA agent volunteers, but Helmet stops him] Hold it...I'll handle this personally. [Soldier: Jawohl, Lord Helmet!]

So citizen Vespa, you thought you could outwit the *imperious forces* of the TSA.

Well you were wrong.

You are now our prisoner and you will be held captive until such time as all the air travel rights are transferred from your convenience... to ours. "

[pauses looking at the camera for dramatic effect then opens the door of the backscatter scanner, but finds nothing, then lifts helmet]

"She's not in there!"

I knew TSA reminded me of hapless people. They are Spaceballs!

"I said across her nose, not UP IT! Who made that man an Agent?,"

"I did, sir. He's my cousin."

"I knew it. I am surrounded by Assholes. Keep groping, TSA Assholes!"