The Top 95 Lemons Of The Buttonwillow Histrionics 24 Hours Of LeMons

With the oldest car yet, cross-dressing maids, and a crash-and-roll finale, the Buttonwillow Histrionics 24 Hours Of LeMons was a rod-throwin' success! Let's take a look at how all 95 citrusy racers fared.

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It appears that the Honda teams have finally found some way to keep those head gaskets intact and the rods safely inside the block, with Hondas and Acuras doing very well in the Buttonwillow heat. The fast track led to some bent metal, but nothing approaching the demolition-derby-style carnage of the early Altamont LeMons races. Thanks to Nick Pon and LTDScott for their photographic help.

1. Mustard Yellow Volvo Doing 45 In The Fast Lane, Volvo DL
Best lap: 2:17.604
Overall Winner

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2. Big Sausage Racing, Acura Integra
Best lap: 2:20:011
Winner, Class Good

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3. Blanco Basura Racing, Honda Prelude
Winner, Organizer's Choice
Best lap: 2:21.464

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4. Go Go Speed Racer, Honda Prelude
Best lap: 2:22.891

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5. Eyesore Racing, Ghettocharged Mazda Miata
Best lap: 2:16.648
BS Penalty laps: 2

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6. B-Team, BMW 325e
Best lap: 2:24.917

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7. Spearmint Dyno, Honda CRX
Best lap: 2:17.683

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8. Los Cerdos Voladores, Plymouth Neon
Winner, Least Horrible Yank Tank
Best lap: 2:18.125

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9. Porcubimmer 3, Rise Of The Pricks, BMW 325e
Best lap: 2:22.464

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10. Formula BMW, BMW 325e
Best lap: 2:20.613

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11. Badagascar, Acura Integra
Best lap: 2:25.717

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12. 1Up, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best lap: 2:21.086
BS Penalty laps: 20

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13. Heisenberg Racing, BMW 318iS
Best lap: 2:21.051
BS Penalty laps: 1

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14. Driver's Education Dropouts, BMW 325i
Best lap: 2:25.579
BS Penalty laps: 7

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15. LeMons Vice, Honda CRXstarossa
Winner, Class Bad
Best lap: 2:21.836

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16. Italian Stallions - The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Fiat X1/9
Winner, Class Ugly
Best lap: 2:22.519

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17. Banana Hammock Death Squad Racing Team, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 2:26.597

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18. Rice Rocket Racing (RQubed), Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 2:23.723

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19. Zoom Zoom... Boom, Mazda 323
Best lap: 2:26.477

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20. $14 The Hard Way, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 2:25.741
BS Penalty laps: 15

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21. Team Uber Vogel, Mercedes-Benz 190E
Best lap: 2:28.228

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22. Fluggaenkoechiebolsen, Volvo 940
Best lap: 2:27.845

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23. ELEMONATORS, BMW 533i
Best lap: 2:22.236

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24. Crash Test Dummies, BMW 325e
Best lap: 2:23.437

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25. LeMons Fire Department, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 2:28.124

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26. The Carter Administration, Mazda 323
Best lap: 2:28.184

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27. Clueless Party Vikings Vintage Racers, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 2:37.181

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28. Old Fast Auto Race Team, Porsche 924S
Best lap: 2:22.438

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29. Team BHL: Team Angels, Kia Sephia
Best lap: 2:37.471

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30. The Faustest Team, BMW 325e
Best lap: 2:22.286
BS Penalty laps: 1

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31. Absolute Lemon Motorsports
Best lap: 2:22.983

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32. Team Top Gun, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 2:38.915

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33. Free Range Racing, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 2:22.927

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34. TEAM TANGO- Don't Cry For Us ARGENTINA, Volvo 740 Wagon
Best lap: 2:34.067

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35. Screaming O, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 2:26.533

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36. OFF CONSISTENTLY, Nissan 300ZX
Best lap: 2:29.213
BS Penalty Laps: 1

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37. Jesus Christ Super Car, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 2:27.266

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38. Down Under, Dodge Stealth
Best lap: 2:25.019

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39. Mediocre Racing Associates, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 2:19.747
BS Penalty laps: 45

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40. Hit & Run, BMW 320i
Best lap: 2:35.019

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41. San Jose Scalawags, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 2:32.220

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42. Cape Coventry Racing, Triumph TR7
Best lap: 2:35.118

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43. Team Bigfoot Hunter, Ford Escort LX
Best lap: 2:29.051

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44. ONSET One Night Stand Endurance Team, Chevrolet Cavalier wagon
Best lap: 2:22:337

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45. The Very Important Peasants, BMW 528e
Winner, Milton Bradley Lovable Pain In The Ass Award
Winner, Fastest Lap Time Of Race
Best lap: 2:16.368

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46. Black Iron Racing, Beyond Thunderchrome, BMW 540
Winner, Heroic Fix Award
Best lap: 2:19.648
BS Penalty laps: 6

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47. Lipstick On A Pig, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best lap: 2:22.127

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48. S.C.R.E.W., Mazda Miata
Best lap: 2:29.462
BS Penalty laps: 40

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49. Planet Hell, Porsche 944
Winner, Judges' Choice
Best lap: 2:27.878
BS Penalty laps: 20

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50. Lightning McQueen, Pontiac Sunfire
Best lap: 2:37.651

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51. Bassackward Racing 2002 WMB, BMW 2002
Best lap: 2:36.640

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52. Danger Warning Scary, Acura Integra
Best lap: 2:23.315

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53. Volatile RAM, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 2:25.530

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54. Skid Row Racing, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 2:26.807

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55. San Diego Minis Aka Team Bean, Austin Mini
Winner, Index Of Effluency
Best lap: 2:45.836

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56. Sin City Lemons, Volkswagen GTI
Best lap: 2:28.611
BS Penalty laps: 40

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57. Team BHL: Team Demons, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 2:29.314

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58. Chariots Of The Flat Tire, Nissan Sentra
Best lap: 2:24.693

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59. Geo Metro-Gnome, Geo Metro
Best lap: 2:18.443

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60. Team 60 Racing, Saab 900 Turbo
Best lap: 2:36.214

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Palomar Speedstars, Porsche 944
Best lap: 2:30.310

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Red Rhino Racing, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 2:26.531
BS Penalty laps: 17

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Bionic Bunny, Volkswagen GTI
Best lap: 2:29.285

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Procrastination Racing, Chevrolet Nova
Best lap: 2:27.472

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Chicken Lickin, Nissan Stanza
Best lap: 2:29.089
BS Penalty laps: 30

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Chim Chim Racing, Volkswagen Rabbit
Best lap: 2:31.621

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Octopussy, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 2:39.903
BS Penalty laps: 1

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Team Stimulus Package, Honda Civic
Best lap: 2:28.723

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Barbarian Motorworks, BMW E30
Best lap: 2:17.714
BS Penalty laps: 27

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Dust n Debris, Dodge Shadow
Best lap: 2:29.346

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Der Wienerschmoker, BMW 325e
Best lap: 2:31.534
BS Penalty laps: 5

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Brit Shitbox Racing Redux, Austin-Healey Sprite
Best lap: 2:49.942

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Magnum P.I.G., Toyota MR2
Best lap: 2:27.599

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Team Unknown Fluids, BMW 633CSi
Best lap: 2:33.454

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Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900 Turbo
Best lap: 2:32.466

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Skip Barber's Racing Stools, Toyota Corolla
Best lap: 2:30.560
BS Penalty laps: 15

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Dori Dori D'oh, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 2:21.491
BS Penalty laps: 5

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A Lemon Entry (my dear Watson), Ford Escort
Winner, I Got Screwed Award
Best lap: 2:43.957

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ZZ Über Das Driver: Spy Vs Spy, Volkswagen GTI
Best lap: 2:27.804

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Frankenstang II, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 2:30.124

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The Black Flags, Toyota Supra
Winner, Dangerous Homemade Technology Award
Best lap: 2:37.529

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ZZ Über Das Driver: Spy Vs Spy II, Volkswagen GTI
Best lap: 2:28.092

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Knights Of The Round Track, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 2:29.072

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Pendejo Engineering South, Alfa Romeo Alfetta
Best lap: 2:33.025

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The UNDERGROUND, Nissan 300ZX
Best lap: 2:25.108

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Hometown Buffet, Isuzu I-Mark
Best lap: 2:35.214

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Team Chevy High Performance, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 2:30.798

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Kaboom Box!, Infiniti G20
Best lap: 2:28.541

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Pendejo Engineering, Jaguar XJ-S
Winner, Car That Would Have Given Steve Earle Apoplexy Award
Best lap: 2:25.384

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Calzones, Opel GT
Best lap: 3:07.221

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E-MC HAMMERED, BMW 325
Best lap: 2:43.223

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Team Pyrite, Eagle Talon
Best lap: 2:33.442

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Timmy's Kids Redux, Audi A4
Best lap: 2:24.773
BS Penalty laps: 450

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Runs For Sixty Seconds, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best lap: 2:20.089
BS Penalty laps: 1,404

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Da Bombers, Audi A4 Quattro
Best lap: 2:41.553
BS Penalty laps: 1,000

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