There are way too many rules we have to follow when flying, especially since 9/11. If you don't follow them, you're off that plane. Not to mention the handcuffs. But there are dumb ways to get ejected and awesomely dumb ways.

I mean, you can't bring a bottle of water through security, but you can take your stainless steel pen and various other object that can be used as a weapon. Is that logical? No, it's ridiculous.


So, the glamour days are pretty much gone unless you have a black AmEx, and the staff will treat you like a child, but if you don't play by their rules, oh boy you're in trouble!

10.) Wearing baggy pants


I'm not making this up. If your ass is visible, you're in trouble, son! According to AOL Travel, this is how it went down:

Deshon Marman, a 20-year old University of New Mexico football player was kicked off a flight on Wednesday after he was told his clothing was revealing too much, the Associated Press reports.

Marman was boarding a U.S. Airways flight to Albuquerque when an employee saw that his pants "were below his buttocks, but above the knees, and his boxer shorts were showing."

SFPD Sgt. Michael Rodriguez told the San Francisco Chronicle that Marman was asked to pull up his pants, but he refused. He was then asked to leave the plane.


Suggested By: Fl1ngstam=Flingstam, Photo Credit: Getty Images

9.) Being sick


This is very simple. The flight crew can decide whether you're fit to fly or not. If you're really sick, just stay at home and don't risk other's health. A good way to start is by vomiting on as many people as you can find.

Suggested By: POD, Photo Credit: Getty Images


8.) Singing Whitney Houston

This is not America's Got Talent, you're in fact on an airplane. Singing is not the best way to entertain yourself.


By the way, what's up with this "no photos" bullshit?

Suggested By: manifold engines, wanting for time


7.) Doing the Harlem Shake

This got so serious, the FBI got involved. Taxpayer money well spent again!


Suggested By: Super Kiwi Zorro

6.) Being super fat


There's this story about a man who was "humiliated" because of his weight, and plans to sue Southwest. Now, flying is humiliating no matter how much you weight. That's a given, thanks to human paranoia and the governments. On the other hand, seats were still designed for average sizes and they do offer the option of buying multiple seats.

Suggested By: $kaycog , Photo Credit: Getty Images


5.) Bringing venomous snakes onboard

One Czech national was caught flying with 247 live animals (including venomous snakes) on a transatlantic flight back in 2011.


Suggested By: Automatch- the Avanthusiast

4.) Impersonating an FAA inspector


VAXcat used to play around a bit:

Back in the day, pre-9/11, I used to ask to inspect the FAA Airworthiness Certificate of the planes I was flying on. By law, they are required to have it available for inspection by anyone. It was fun to watch the head scratching this caused, as the Flight Attendants wondered if I was an FAA inspector. It was especially fun the time they had trouble finding it, since they can't take off without it. I don't do it anymore - might get me thrown off and arrested as a terrorist.


Remember, you've got the right!

Suggested By: Highball!, Photo Credit: Universal Pictures


3.) Masturbating


Last year, a 63-year-old man was accused of putting Southwest's WiFi to questionable use. Porn. And fondling himself.

Suggested By: I_Smell_rice, Photo Credit: Getty Images


2.) Anything with bombs

You can't say bomb on an airplane. Ridiculous, I know, but the fact remains.

Suggested By: ZekeStone says hydrogen has no future

1.) Assaulting a flight attendant and then defecating on the food cart

Advertisement has the legendary story of banker Gerard B. Finneran back in 1995.

A few years ago on a United Airlines flight from Buenos Aires to New York, Gerard B. Finneran, an investment banker, went totally bonkers. Newspaper accounts said that after becoming intoxicated, Finneran demanded more alcohol from the flight attendants. When they refused, he began helping himself to the liquor supply. After being cut off a second time, he became visibly angry. He pushed one flight attendant (federal offense No. 1), verbally threatened another (federal offense No. 2), interfered with a third who was assisting a sick passenger (federal offense No. 3), then walked up to the first-class cabin, dropped his pants and defecated on a service cart in plain view of the passengers and crew. Then he stepped in his own feces and tracked it through the main cabin (federal offense Nos. 4, 5 and possibly 6).

Finneran was arrested upon landing in New York. He subsequently pleaded guilty to assault and was sentenced to two years probation. In addition, he was given 300 hours of community service and a $5,000 fine and was ordered to pay more than $50,000 in restitution to the airline and to reimburse fellow passengers for the price of their tickets.


Yes, it really happened.

Suggested By: shortyoh, Photo Credit: Getty Images


Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

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