Wrenching with super-strength abilities or x-ray vision could make even working on a modern Range Rover easy.
10.) Mr. Fantastic
Have to reach for a tool but can’t move your whole body? There’s no need for a pesky mechanic’s shop assistant when Mr. Fantastic is hanging around with his ultra stretchy arms. He’s also a super-genius who invents portals to other worlds for fun, so your oil change is cake.
Superman’s abilities are not to be doubted. Especially when it comes to working on cars. Reader damnthisburnershitsux can explain:
X-ray vision to see what’s happening inside the engine while it’s running, with superhuman strength he could change tires or even shocks without a jack and bend dents back in seconds. With his superhuman speed he could read a Haynes manual in a few seconds or do a push start and then catch up with the car hop in and pop the clutch, and finally the aforementioned ability to weld with his eyes and cut with his piss, not really sure what more could be needed.
Metal shavings or lost engine hardware in your oil pan? Clear it all out with some help from Magneto. Fixing bent valves and other internal engine issues has never been so effortless.
Who needs an OBDII reader when you can just communicate with machines directly? With Forge directly conversing with the minds of broken down cars and computers, no car shall remain unrepaired.
Since the days of the first iteration of Teen Titans and through today’s continuation of the series, Cybog has always been a serious car lover. Reader The Devil Drives a Rotary and can tell us about Cyborg’s skill:
He is part machine himself, is infinitely upgradeable so it can’t be too hard for him to get an OBDII reader/data logger, has been shown in several episodes to have a built in welder, and there was that one Teen Titans episode where it was shown that he was a gearhead.
5.) Alfred Pennyworth
Okay, he’s not really a superhero, but with all the crap he puts up with from Batman—and how effectively he makes that crimefighting operation happen—he might as well be. In addition to emergency surgery, military skills, butlering and generally kicking ass, he could probably get a tranny swap done in under a day.
Suggested By: 5mtFXT, Photo Credit: Warner Bros. screencap
There are countless automotive service jobs where the Ant-Man, in his insect-sized form, could have a normal mechanic running for their money. Weird noise inside the engine? Ant-Man could just shrink down and have a peek. Weird electrical issue? Have Ant-Man scale the wiring harness and see if something is frayed. Weird rattle underneath your dashboard? Send Ant-Man in there to investigate and have him take it from there.
3.) The Flash
With the Flash there would be no more “I’ll call you when it’s ready,” or “your parts just haven’t come in yet.” The Flash would run and get the service parts, install them, road-test the car, and have you on your way before a normal mechanic could even write up a service order.
2.) Iron Man
Tony Stark’s love for cars and everything else mechanical makes him an obvious dream-mechanic candidate. Though I’m not sure I’d be able to deal with his passive-aggressiveness or come and go attitude, I have no doubt any work he might do on a car would be without error. Though the car might also return with an arc reactor or something powering it. Maybe that’s not a bad thing?
1.) Mitchell Hundred
The superhero that in his world, prevented the second plane from striking the Twin Towers on 9/11, and later turned Mayor of New York City could also be one of the best auto mechanics around. Is there anything this guy can’t do?
Maybe your OBDII computer just won’t tell you what’s actually up with your car’s performance or car truly just needs some whispering and compassion. Either way, there’s no superhero that is better prepared for such a job more than Mitchell Hundred. The experiences and knowledge carried from his life prior to his life-changing incident combined with the device-whisperer powers that were later bestowed upon him put Mitchell Hundred in a position to be a great car fixer-upper.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day’s Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It’s by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Top Photo Credit: Marvel