Finding yourself in the center seat on a totally full B747 from Heathrow to NY smack in the middle of a southern baptist church group can be challenging. But there are other ways you can ruin everybody's flight, and here's ten of them.
10.) Touching everything with your bare feet
Your holiday is over. You're on your way back to civilization. Don't take off your sandals and put your feet all over the place, because it's just gross.
9.) Hogging the luggage compartment
We all understand if you don't want to check-in some sensitive luggage. Still, the overhead compartment is should be shared equally, and if you can't fit your stuff, don't be an ass about it.
Suggested By: dogisbadob
8.) Being impatient after landing
Yes, we've survived it. Awesome. Now, the plane will slowly roll into parking position, and it will take some time until the doors open. Are you sitting next to the window in the middle of the plane? Tough luck. You wanted to see the mountains, now be patient:
Suggested By: jcguy3, Photo Credit: Shutterstock
7.) Taking both armrests
It's really simple. There are three seats, and ideally six arms to four armrests. Do the math.
Suggested By: Jagvar, Photo Credit: Shutterstock
6.) Complain about reclined seats
If you aren't a giant, be cool about it:
Shut your crying cock holster, the seats recline, they paid for it, they can lean theirs back those minuscule 2" that is mechanically possible in business and coach class without having to put up with some dick behind them crying like it's the end of the world.
If there's a giant behind you, understand:
The seatback thing is the only thing I care about. I'm 6'4", and on Delta that means about .5" of legroom (fly Sun Airways instead, since Delta's merger Sun is friendlier, cheaper and, most importantly, has an inch or two more of leg room). When someone leans their seat back, I WILL ask them to kindly put it up again. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they are assholes, but I'm willing to be a bit of an asshole to avoid back pain for the next 2 days.
Suggested By: 2 Wheels awesome!, Photo Credit: Shutterstock
We sit in a tight tube so, if you can all avoid it.
4.) Not thinking through flying with small children
Everybody has the right to fly with their children. It's a good thing. The family stays together, the kids see the world, good times.
But small children tend to cry and scream. A lot. If your parenting skills are not the greatest, try to plan ahead. You know your kids, you know when they like to sleep or eat. Try to minimize the chaos by choosing the right time for them, not just yourself. It will be a much more relaxing flight for both parties.
Suggested By: Braking Bad, Photo Credit: Shutterstock
3.) Skipping a shower
It's just like reeking on a bus, only way worse. Just ignore the possible water shortage and have a shower before traveling.
2.) Getting so drunk you piss yourself
UKGTR335 has a shocking story to share:
Flying back from England to the U.S. in February across the aisle from a pleasant looking gentleman in his late 60s/early 70s who was dressed like an old-school traveler in a sport coat, tie, and slacks. He discovers that alcohol is complimentary and proceeds to polish off 6 mini bottles of white wine within the first hour and a half. He struggles to stand up for a visit to the toilet, revealing that he had already pissed his pants and soaked his seat.
While in the bathroom, his lady travel companion (who actually had the aisle seat, he was in a middle seat) places one of the empty bottles on his seat and explains that they had accidentally spilled "wine" on the seat. Air hostess buys it. He is in the bathroom for 30-45 minutes and only comes back after his travel companion has the air hostess check to make sure he hasn't died/passed out.
When he comes back, he drunkenly asks his lady companion to move over into his seat so he can sit on the aisle. Look of horror comes across her face because she knows it is soaked with piss, not wine. She begrudgingly moves over and sits on top of a folded blanket on the piss seat. As he is trying to sit down, it becomes apparent that his pants were not properly fastened while in the toilet, and he accidentally drops trou right next to me, then drunkenly bends down to pull them back up with his arse and underpants about 18 inches from my face. I cringe in horror as my wife and brother almost piss their pants laughing. Another 20 minutes of shenanigans ensue, and he ends up dropping trou another time, causing me to get another eyeful.
Long story short - 3 rudest things you can do on an airplane (1) piss your pants/seat (2) make your travel companion sit in your piss seat and (3) drop your pants and put your ass/underpants in another traveler's face after pissing your pants.
Prescription drugs taken for the "stress" can lead to bad things too.
1.) Just... just read it
This is not something you would expect, but can happen. Tim Tom remembers the horror:
What tops all of the horrible things I ever encountered, and can't really imagine ANYTHING worse than this is an English woman, as far as I could guess from her accent from Liverpool, at first glance normal 30-ish woman, not ugly not magazine-beautiful, wearing rather small tanktop and short jean shorts (it was a hot summer day on a flight from Barcelona to Zurich), it was obvious she is not into the shave-everything, because her body hair was quite visible in her armpits, but it was not spreading any odors so what the hell, she can grow a full beard if she wants to, free country, isn't it.
It is a short flight, so we only got a half a cheese sandwich and tiny cup of drink. Everything is fine until this point. Now she holds the empty tiny, I emphasize transparent glass-like plastic cup, she put the plastic wrap from the sendwich inside the empty cup. Still, everything normal, we all do use the empty cup as a tiny trash can.
Now she, quite openly without any intention to at least cover it with the news paper she was reading earlier or something, puts her hand insid her shorts, for very short moment it looks like she is searching for keys or something, now she pulls the hand off, with a USED hygiene female pad, and rolls this into the small plastic cup. Of course it does not fit very well so it looks like a small pervert sundae. For good 10 minutes this object was presented on the tray like something totally normal, till she handed it to the stewardess collecting garbage before we started landing.
A baby once rocket-barfed into my eyes and it was more pleasant airplane ride than removing hygiene products in the comfort of the seat shared with 2 other people.
Suggested By: Tim Tom, Photo Credit: Shutterstock
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