The Ten Most Useless Trucks Ever Built

Trucks are generally the most useful, utilitarian vehicles on the road. Or at least they're supposed to be, unlike these ten.

10.) Mazda Rotary Pickup


Rotary engines are great in sports cars like the RX-7 but their lack of torque makes them useless in a pickup truck. A lovable oddball nonetheless.

Suggested By: Green Pig, Photo Credit: MartinHansV

9.) Subaru Baja


The Baja is just a slightly less useful version of an Outback wagon with its small bed and small interior pass through. The early/mid 2000s were strange times.

Suggested By: Mister_Moon, Photo Credit: Subaru

8.) Dodge Ram Daytona


A cool concept, a great execution, and oh wait, you mean to tell me the rear wing doesn't come off? Well then, I guess I'll just be hauling lumber in that case.

Suggested By: Steve Kuhn, Photo Credit: Dodge

7.) GMC Syclone


Now let's get one thing straight–I love the Syclone for all its absurdity, but a good truck it's not. You can't tow with it, it has an extremely limited payload capacity, and good luck taking one off road.

That's just the price you pay for being faster than a Ferrari 348, I guess.

Suggested By: post_break, Photo Credit: GMC

6.) 1978 Chevy Truck With LF9 Diesel


"What's so bad about an old diesel truck? At least it has torque, unlike that silly Mazda Rotary thing." Well, this Chevy didn't have just any diesel, it had the worst diesel–the infamous Oldsmobile 350. This engine was so bad it ruined diesel's reputation in America to this day.

Convert it to run on gas though, and it's a whole different story.

Suggested By: mrbwa1, Photo Credit: Chevrolet

5.) Chevrolet SSR


It's a hardtop convertible, V8 powered, retro styled pickup that cost $42k back in 2003. Wasn't a good truck, nor a good hot rod, nor a good convertible. Like I said earlier, the early/mid 2000s were strange times indeed.

Suggested By: ejp hates automatic transmissions, Photo Credit: Chevrolet

4.) Reynolds Boughton RB44


I'll let reader bobrayner explain why this British footnote was useless.

"Way back in the mists of time, the Rootes Group inherited some failing old van-making businesses in the UK. Rootes had some crap products, so they got taken over by Chrysler. Chrysler UK continued making crappy vans (as well as cars), with Dodge badges and Dodge parts. Then Chrysler UK failed, so they were taken over by Peugeot, who really wanted some of the car production; the van production was a like a red-headed stepchild that Peugeot kept chained to a pipe in the basement. They merged it with Renault's truck/van business, and the Dodge vans got rebranded as Renaults.

However, Renault already had their own van platform which was actually pretty good, so the nasty old Dodge was about to be put out of its misery; but it had one last chance - Reynolds-Boughton make a 4x4 version. It's worse than a Unimog in every way, but Unimogs weren't built in the UK, so when the British armed forces wanted something larger than a Land Rover and smaller than a Bedford MK, there was only one thing they could buy.

It's OK at driving in a straight line, but steering and stopping leave something to be desired. And it's uglier than a smacked arse."


Suggested By: bobrayner, Photo Credit: Alf van Beem

3.) Hummer H2 SUT


The Hummer H2 was a terrible SUV designed for posers and urban soccer moms that wasn't particularly good at anything. To bring more people in the showrooms GM decided to replace the trunk with a little bed and thus, the sport utility truck was born.

Not a very good truck, and far less useful than the conventional SUV H2.

Suggested By: _Mécanicen, Photo Credit: Hummer

2.) Brodozer


Ah the bro truck? Is putting it at number 2 a cheap shot? Perhaps, but these turds deserve it. Too high to be practical, the only thing these trucks are good for is signaling to the rest of the world there's a mouth-breather in the driver's seat.

Never mind the fact that these things will never see anything but pavement.

Suggested By: Stig-a-saw-us-wrecks, Photo Credit: Andrew P. Collins/Jalopnik

1.) Slammed Show Trucks


Ok, some people do indeed use slammed trucks for work and that's fine. But these chromed-out, slammed trucks are really only good for show. At least the other trucks on this list have at least some practical application.

Suggested By: McSeanserson, Photo Credit: JOHN LLOYD

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!


Top Photo Credit: Hummer

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