The Most Terrifying Stories of the First Time You Drove

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Photo: Andrew Weber (AP)

For the people here at Jalopnik—writers and readers alike—driving is, to put it simply, awesome. But it wasn’t always that way. We had to learn a hell of a lot to get there first. And last week, we asked y’all about those terrifying drives you had when you were just learning the skills you know now.


I don’t envy you, Jalopnik readers. You’ve had some experiences that would have put me right off driving for good. We’ve put together a list of some of the roughest, because who doesn’t love a good bit of schadenfreude?

Wheel-Spinning Nissan (William Byrd)

Yep, that would have been it. I’d have tapped out. I never would have driven a car again.

You Spin Me Right Round (The Devil Drives a Mustang (Rotary Pending))

How you ever lived those stories down, I’ll never know.

Welcome to America, Here’s Your Near-Death Experience (VadGTI)



Meeting God (Umoja)

“God was none other than Red Forman calling me ‘Dumbass.’” Please, someone put that on a t-shirt.


Dirty Little Secret (achosid)

I’m glad you both made it out of that one unscathed!


Opportunity of a Lifetime (Rusty Starship)

This is still me every time I drive my mom’s Armada.


Like A Chump (KillerBee)

My heart goes out to the breakfast that was never eaten.


A Real Code Brown (My Cat’s Breath)

Step one of driving: remember where the brakes are.


Learning the Hard Way (NegativeEd)

Bless you for not being a weenie (like me) and continuing on with your lesson.


Put It In H! (Veblen Bad)

How in god’s name were you comfortable going off-roading the day after you got your license?


Brake-less (Clay_T)

You handled that like a champ.



Dad would have shirley been divorced had mom been driving that day.”

Shirley you can’t be serious.