The Most Popular Jalopnik Stories Of 2016

We can always tell when you, dear readers, are taken with a particular story. Your voices are heard in the comments section, sometimes standing above a crowd of dissenters with a lone opinion, sometimes melding in with the rest of them, screaming for approval or blood.

Also, we have the hard data. Nothing beats hard data! Our traffic numbers tell us which of our stories you read the most this past year.


Among sloths, Joe Biden, shitty BMW engines and more, here are your most-read stories from 2016.

10. Here’s Exactly How Much Volkswagen Will Pay You For Your Diesel Car

When news of Volkswagen’s diesel scandal first broke in September 2015, the following months were chaotic and riddled with the unknown. Especially for VW diesel owners. What happened next would directly affect them. Finally, in June 2016, VW agreed to substantial cash payments to the owners of the diesel four-cylinder cars.

9. Dumb Hurricane Matthew Kitesurfer Gets Exactly What He Came For


It seems like there’s one of these guys for every hurricane. October’s Hurricane Matthew was no exception. The airborne fellow you see in the above image is a kitesurfer who wanted to catch some wind before he presumably went to find some shelter. At least he stuck the landing.

8. Mr. Bean Actor And Known Car Guy Rowan Atkinson Is Not Actually Dead

Photo credit: Jonathan Short/Invision/AP Images

2016 took a lot of well-loved famous people from us, so I guess that would make news of Rowan Atkinson’s sudden death a little more believable? I guess? Except he didn’t actually die. Word of his fake death being spread like wildfire on Facebook was really just part of a “clickjacking” scam.

7. BMW Engines Are Gigantic Pieces Of Shit


Tavarish spit some red-hot fire in this story, which got many of you riled up and many others cheering him on.

6. Here’s What Happens If You Try To Cut Off The President’s Motorcade On A Bicycle


I didn’t think this needed to be explained to anyone, but if you see a police barricade up ahead, please don’t try and ride your little Citi Bike through it. Because that barricade might be in place for President Obama’s motorcade.

5. Vice President Joe Biden Gets Permission To Drive A Corvette, Immediately Does A Burnout


If you needed any more proof that Joe Biden is indeed America’s coolest car-uncle: here it is.

4. Tesla Model 3: This Is It


The Tesla Model S and the Model X are out of most people’s price ranges. But the Model 3 will be the entry-level Tesla for the masses. And it looks good! Like a bite-sized Model S. Tesla says that deliveries should start late next year if everything goes smoothly.

3. The Russians Make The Best Truck In The Universe For $50K


This is a SHERP AVT. It can go anywhere. It can climb, swim, turn and pretty much rumble over anything. Sell all of your other cars: this is the only one you’ll need.

2. Ecuador Cops Save Tiny Terrified Sloth In Most Adorable Highway Rescue Ever


The kind-hearted police in Ecuador rescued a tiny and terrified sloth from the side of a highway in January. It’s so cute! I’m so glad it was checked over by a vet before it was released back to its home in the wild.

1. Conan, Ice Cube And Kevin Hart Teaching A Student Driver Is A Hilarious Shitshow


Dealing with a backseat driver is hard. Dealing with three is harder. Dealing with three who are also comedians while you are a student driver is... I don’t even want to know. This clip went insanely viral somehow, clocking more than 2 million views. Good work, everyone!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

About the author

Kristen Lee

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.