The Most Hilarious Car Jokes You've Ever Heard

Illustration for article titled The Most Hilarious Car Jokes Youve Ever Heard
CountersteerYour true stories of good and bad things that happen in cars.

I was feeling very sad and left out last week when I realized that I didn’t know any good car jokes. So I sent a plea out to the Jalopnik community and you guys more than delivered (as you often do.)

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Reading through these was such a treat—an excellent way to start off the new year. Man, do we make fun of Yugos.

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Anyway, here are some of the best.

Yugo Be Funny Over There (Manwich)

IF YOU CAN GET THE GAS CAP OFF, AMIRITE?

Duck, Duck (Ryan L.)

Where are the ducks going?

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Wife (Tom327Cat)

Stop when you see the cop.

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Faster And Faster (Martin Grossinger)

I just wanna go faaast.

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We’re Both Alive! (Phantom440)

Let’s celebrate!

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Chicken (rabbit21787)

Words, they mean things.

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Ole & Sven (manifold engines)

So great.

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Ferrari (T-800)

“More than you can afford, pal.”

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Tow Truck (KinjaNinja)

Looking for the accident.

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Gears (Javon Johnson)

Those one-liners, man.

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Wiper Blades (Whitesmoke)

Yugo forever.

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Knock-Knock (2wheelmission)

I’m so glad you submitted a knock-knock joke!

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Odd Jobs ($kaycog)

Painting job, actually.

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22 (It’s OK to use your blinkers, St.Louis)

22 miles per hour!?

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Twelve Steps (General Purpose)

Goddammit.

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Fiat (mdensch)

And the mechanic’s name is Tony.

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Kittens (Siconik)

Quality issues need resolving.

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Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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DISCUSSION

emilminty
emilminty drives an E30 but his son has a cooler '89 Cavalier

How was this not suggested? I’ve seen it posted so many times here, and it still cracks me up every time.

So a penguin is driving his car in the desert. All of sudden his car breaks down. Luckily, he’s pretty close to gas station. So he waddles behind his car and pushes it to the gas station. He asks the mechanic to take a look and find the problem. Mechanic tells him to come back in 30 minutes. So the penguin is getting hot being in the desert and all, and decides to find something to cool him off. He goes in the convenience store and buys some vanilla ice cream. He eats the ice cream and makes a big mess on his face. Finally he goes back to the mechanic to find out the problem. Mechanic says,” Looks like you blew a seal.” To which the penguin replies, “No, no. It’s just a little ice cream.”