There's only one important question about the new Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe: can you get a good blowjob in it? I tried my best to find out.

I'm not a road head expert, as I've never given road head, but I felt it was my journalistic duty to try and find out if it was possible.

I managed to get some passenger seat time in the S63 AMG Coupe, in among its leather white pure as driven cocaine.

I didn't have anyone to try out my road head attempts on, but I can tell you it wasn't comfortable. The gear knob isn't in your way, but the center transmission hump alone is just too big to make road head an easy proposition.In all positions I really had to hike myself up to get over onto the driver's side of the car.


Jalopnik's Chris Perkins was on hand and got a better shot of me aiming crotchwards. You can thank Jason Torchinsky for the mannequin visual.


All this and I'm 5'9". I shudder to think what the world's finest five-foot nothing callgirls and boys will have to do to make road head happen in this colossal Mercedes.


Look at that hump. That's a lot of hump. It is, at least, a luxurious hump.


You can just imagine some rotund Baden-Württemberger turning to his passenger and inquiring, "are you comfortable, Fräulein? Ja, the Kardantunnel is a little large."

I don't doubt that people will give and receive road head in this car (with this kind of car, there's sufficient implied monetary motivation), but it won't be comfortable. Please, road head enthusiasts of the world, consider something with a bench seat. Also minivans — the Honda Odyssey is quite nice. Er, at least that's what I hear.


Photo Credits: Raphael Orlove/Chris Perkins/I was taking a few of these shots myself, and then a random guy walked up to the car, opened the door, asked to help, and took my camera and snapped a few pics. I thanked him, he handed my camera back and he left immediately. This is for you, mysterious helpful photographer man.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter