All image credits: Hammacher Schlemmer

The holidays are drawing close, Black Friday and Cyber Monday have come and gone and yet, nothing in this great consumer nation of ours has caught your beady eyes. It’s time now to turn to the Shangri-La of catalogs from the completely sane and practical goods distributor, Hammacher Schlemmer.


In particular, I would like to draw Sir or Madame’s attention to the Undersea Aquahoverer—a perfect gift to match the island getaway. This two-person sub has six 400-RPM, 1.2-kilowatt ducted propellers good for easily maneuvering around and exploring underwater critters, reefs and wrecks.

It is powered by a rechargeable 15kWH battery. A composite pressure hull and acrylic domes overhead protect you and your passenger while you’re snug in carbon fiber seats. The sub can be controlled from either cockpit.

Yours for the moderate price of $1,500,000.

Should the Aquahoverer stray too far from Sir or Madame’s love for all things automotive, but you still wish to maintain the aquatic exploration theme, I beseech you now to turn your eyes to the Submarine Sports Car.

Understandably, James Bond is a great role model. This Lotus Elise underwater navigator is a perfect way to live the dream. The car, powered by a 54 kW 160 NM electric motor, has the same steel chassis as a Lotus Elise. The motor powers the car for up to 80 miles on land and three hours underwater after a quick, four-hour charge.


The car has two water jets installed behind rotating louvers at the front for steering and propellers at the back for propulsion. The inside, good for two passengers and completely waterproof, has two built-in scuba tanks and diving regulators so that you and your passenger can stay submerged for up to an hour.


An onboard laser-guided sensor gives the car autonomous operation, so you really don’t need to lift a finger. You can enjoy all the perks of scuba diving without actually having to swim at all.

Watch the underseascape pass lazily by for $2,000,000.

You’ll actually be saving money if you decide on these. Right now, Hammacher Schlemmer is offering free standard shipping on all orders over $99. Talk about a bargain.


(h/t to Wayne!)

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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