The First Car Ever Built Was Incredibly Annoying To Start

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The easiest car in the world to start is a Tesla. Hop in with the key in your pocket, push the brake pedal, and away you go. But this is about the opposite of that. This is about the first car ever made, the 1886 Benz Patent Motorwagen, and just getting it going would make me claw my own eyeballs out.

And it’s not just these guys having trouble, either. There are tons of videos of people online attempting to start either the original Patent Motorwagen or replicas, and it looks like it takes a whole bunch of elbow grease and patience before you’re hit with the oddly cozy CHUFF CHUFF CHUFF *wheeze* CHUFF CHUFF CHUFF of its .95-liter single-cylinder engine.

I have no idea why, however, we don’t make cars like this anymore with all sorts of exposed machinery. Looks safe.

(Please note: our own esteemed Jason Torchinsky was very passionate this morning about the 1886 Benz Patent Motorwagen NOT being the first car ever made. At one point, he even threatened to “THROW DOWN.” He maintains that the first car ever made was some sort of train, or boat, or maybe even just a rock laying on the ground. I don’t understand it, but he’s probably right.)