The Euro Slot Car Championships Are So Ridiculously Stupid Fast

I like speed. I understand speed. I really do. But at some point, something gets to be so fast that everything about it, including life itself, becomes completely meaningless. It induces existential crisis. This is the Slot Car Racing European Championship, and it is not the slot cars you played with as a kid.

It is absurd.

The video (which should be cued up to about 0:53, but just skip ahead if you don’t want to watch people tinker with electric motors and listen to a Finnish man drone on about something... maybe Finland? It’s probably about rallying, I dunno) shows just how ridiculous tremendous speed is when it’s displayed on such a small scale. The cars are barely visible, things happen, and if there was a tiny human inside they would almost certainly be crushed into a little bitty cube by the G-forces.


And by now, I know we’re all thinking the same thing. There should be a life-size version of this.

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Voice of C. Montgomery Burns

As much as I love cars, there’s something sad about this display.