The Critter Gitter is Our New Ultimate Zombie-Hunting Vehicle

We've got a new top vehicle for Zombiepocalypse survival. It's called the Critter Gitter — an over-the-top purpose-built hunting vehicle. It weighs 13,250 lbs., has 64" tires and it costs $340,000. Most importantly, it has a wet bar.


Do you want a huge luxury monster truck to go hunting in with all of your friends? Do you have an unlimited excess of money with which you can indulge desires such as having a huge luxury monster truck you can go hunting in with all of your friends? Well the Critter Gitter may be for you.

Designed as to be the ultimate hunting vehicle, the Critter Gitter will take you wherever you need to go after whatever you need to hunt. Built with a Chevy Ram Jet 502 crate engine with Electronic Fuel Injection, the Critter Gitter has the terrifying power it needs to move the 64 inch by 32 inch tires it sits on along with the rest of its 13,250 pound frame. It also likely has some equally terrifying fuel economy. But so what. According to Car and Driver, who featured the Critter Gitter last month, it does donuts with ease. Yes, zombie-crushing donuts.

Truly an American creation, the sheer size of a Critter Gitter is hard to process when you first see it. The body is about 11 feet wide and over 30 feet long and is perched upon what is effectively a monster truck frame. While in driving position you sit 11 feet above the ground. Power is moved through a 5 speed automatic transmission and custom transfer case to five ton Rockwell axles that started life in a tank hauler.


With a $340,000 price tag it isn't surprising that only 12 Critter Gitters have been made by The Shop Off Road in League City, TX. Their website lists custom options ranging from barb wire fencing (presumably to keep game/zombies out) to wet bars. Judging from the second video, Critter Gitter 8 is appointed with custom alligator skin seating. The makers of the Critter Gitter's motto is "You dream it, we build it".

The Critter Gitter is perhaps the ultimate off-road toy. Whether or not it is an effective hunting tool is a question to be answered by someone who actually knows about hunting (which is not me). What I do know is when aliens land, zombies attack, or another world-ending catastrophe hits, the Critter Gitter will be the vehicle to have. That is, as long as there is still lots of gas.

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