A car
Screenshot: ABC News (YouTube)

After Knickers, a giant cow, captured the spirit of the darkened pit of hell we call the internet, The Washington Post showed up Tuesday to rain on the parade. Knickers, the Post says, is not a cow. Whatever. Hereā€™s another take to unpack, you pedantic jerks: Knickers is a car.

We submit that Knickers:

  • Weighs 2,800 pounds, more than 400 pounds heavier than a Mazda Miata
  • Is 6'4", about the height of a Ford F-150
  • Is mobile

Knickers is a car. Have at it.