The Best Cars For Old People

Illustration for article titled The Best Cars For Old People

It has been clearly established by economics and science that the Olds run the show, and they will be the only ones buying cars anymore because everyone else is too poor. I, for one, welcome our Elderly Overlords, and have taken it upon myself to find the best possible cars for Grandma and Grandpa.

My nomination is the Cadillac CTS-V Coupe. We here at the Jalopnik love us some Cadillac CTS-V, and as I'm driving one right now it's got me thinking. I've got the wagon model for the week (mini-review: it's fantastic), but as I've been driving around I've taken to spotting other people in Cadillacs. Almost always, they tend to be, well, older.


Let's be honest, Cadillac's had a demographics problem for a while. The CTS was the first shot at lowering the average age of its buyer, and the CTS-V was like adding extra gun powder to that cannon. The problem is that while these cars do appeal to young people, we have previously established that the Olds have all the money, and thus the Youngs cannot afford to buy the Cadillacs.

Which brings me to the Cadillac CTS-V Coupe. The coupe model, specifically, because the Olds don't want or need to haul anything around, besides small grandchildren and golf clubs. The CTS-V, because goddamn is that thing comfy as all hell, plus when you may not have much time left you might want to get places in a hurry. And the Cadillac part because, also as previously established, the Olds love a good Cadillac.

So what do you think what be the best car for the wizened among us? Show us below (with an explanation as to why) in the comments!

Photo credit: Jack Snell

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Ahem, I give you the Toyota Avalon. FWD, so not a RWD Lexus (safety). Cheaper than a Lexus, because old people are cheap. Floaty like a boaty. Reliable. Has wood. Has leather. Distances you from the road a lot. Safe. Sold.