The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock

There are three key selling points for the Bentley Bentayga: Expensive stuff at the back, more expensive stuff at the front and the most expensive grill this side of a Rolls-Royce Phantom. Let’s break them down.

Advertisement

It might have the stupidest name of them all, but the Bentley Bentayga is also supposed to be the most luxurious SUV the world has ever seen. Since bigger is better, I went to Bentley to poke around, disguising myself as a potential customer. They didn’t suspect a thing.

Reason 1 for buying a Bentley Bentayga: A boot that’s already full of expensive objects. The original Range Rover had a split tailgate you could sit on? Huh! Check this out, buddy!

Look at that: LOOK AT THAT. It’s full of champagne and fancy silverware that probably costs more than your house.

Here’s a close up of the opulence:

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock

You have to be in the right income tax bracket just to look in there.

Reason 2 for buying a Bentley Bentayga: A Breitling clock with diamonds on the dash that puts any Maserati dash clock to shame.

Advertisement

Did you say Rolls-Royce has nice clocks too? Please...The Bentley has DIAMONDS! Eight of them!

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement


Reason 3 for buying a Bentley Bentayga: Dat grill. The holiest of grills. The grill that you would like to be minced by if you were a bird that just got hit by an SUV traveling at 187 mph.

The shiny piece of metal that’s only shiny if you want it to be. But you will want it to be.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock

ENHANCE!

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

CHANGE COLOR AND ENHANCE!

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

MORE ZOOM YOU PEASANT!

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

WHY ARE WE ON THIS PLANET?

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

AND FOR THAT!

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

I WANT TO TOUCH IT!

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

That will be $229,100 without the diamonds, cheers!

For your money, you’ll also get:

- Lightweight materials

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

- Heavy leathers

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

- A movie theatre

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

Still unconvinced? Maybe this is more your thing:

Illustration for article titled The Bentley Bentayga Has A Trunk Full Of Champagne And Diamonds In Its Clock
Advertisement

Photos credit Máté Petrány, Bentley, Rolls-Royce

Advertisement

Contact the author at mate@jalopnik.com.

DISCUSSION

Loping_Camshaft
Loping Camshaft

Watch geek here. That dash clock is interesting not because it has diamonds, but because it has a tourbillon. Tourbillons were designed to improve the accuracy of a clock (and adapted to watches) that is often kept in a static position. It’s usefulness in wristwatches (other than increasing value and showiness) is debatable. But in a car, it actually would help (I won’t use the word “useful”). In most cases today, a tourbillon watch exists to show the engineering and manufacturing prowess of a brand and to be something for rich people to blow money on.

It would add about $100k to the price of the car.