The BeltzBib: This Is Why You're Fat

For only one easy payment of $13.95, you can own the latest innovation in car dining technology, the BeltzBib! It attaches to your seat belt, it's a bib and you're a sloppy fatso!

The BeltzBib. We never thought we'd see a company market a seat belt mounted bib designed to hold and protect against fast food droppings. Truly we are in the golden age of being fat in America. Look upon this invention with disgust and mock any who would buy it. Complete sales pitch below:

BeltzBib™ is designed to protect clothing from stains and spills while you or your passengers are eating in your vehicle. Simply attach BeltzBib™ to your vehicle's shoulder harness; place your food in the pouch of BeltzBib™ and continue your journey without worrying about stains and spills. When you are finished eating, remove BeltzBib™ from the shoulder harness, roll BeltzBib™ up and secure it with the attached Velcro fitting. Place BeltzBib™ under your vehicle seat for the remainder of your journey. When you arrive at your destination, unroll BeltzBib™, remove any food particles or wrappers, place BeltzBib™ in your washing machine or handwash it. Dry BeltzBib™ and then you are ready to resuse it again.

Get one for the kids, too!

Yes, rush out and buy one for the kids too, because being a sloppy fast food eater is something that needs to be taught early. We weep for society. [Dan's Products via EatMeDaily]


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