Are you really really rich, but also something of a moron with terrible taste? Is it difficult and exhausting to explain both how wealthy you are and how bad your decisions are to people you meet? I’m delighted to say that there’s an answer: the Aznom Atulux, the vehicle that answers the question of how to spend $300,000 on a Ram 1500 Crew Cab without having to buy ten of them.

The Atulux (a contraction of, I’m assuming, the three words atrocious, ugh, and luxury) is built by Italian coachbuilder Aznom, and uses the same basic approach to body design as the new Vision Mercedes-Maybach luxury SUV: take a truck-scaled body and turn it into a massive, bizarrely-proportioned sedan-like beast.

Advertisement

The idea of transforming trucks into beefy sedanoids isn’t new; in fact, you can find examples of it as far back as the ‘60s, and sometimes it results in some oddly charming beasts, like this Brazilian Ford:

But once the concept of “ultra luxury” is injected into the mutated truck-sedan carcass, the whole tone of these things change, and they transform from interesting, quirky, rugged off-road family cars into embarrassing status-screamers like the Maybach or now, this severely mutated Ram 1500.

Advertisement

The Atulux looks basically still like a Ram from the outside, with a Dodge Magnum rear greenhouse tacked on before the massive squarical ass of a trunk there. It’s appealing in the same way a grizzly bear with a small dumpster stuck on its ass is appealing.

They’ve managed to combine the bulk and mass of a truck or SUV without any of the cargo-hauling flexibility of either. A triumph!

Advertisement

The inside, though, is another story, in that it’s absolutely slathered in every expensive chunk of wood and animal hide the hunters and lumberjacks over at Aznom could get their hands on.

Advertisement

The seats are all nubuck leather (that’s like a more expensive suede with “a slight nap of short protein fibers”) and the wood has been, I don’t know, kissed together by genuine Algonquin wood sprites or some shit. It’s got a center console with a champale chiller and a Nespresso machine, and there’s flip-down LCD screens so you can watch The Notebook or play your Sega Saturn games in peace.

This thing is stupid.