The Average Yellow Corvette Convertible Driver

We want the Corvette ZR1 in our garage — but a stock yellow convertible? We'd be afraid people would think we're this supremely douchey guy from The Millionaire Matchmaker.

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DISCUSSION

Matt is completely right. As usual, Matt! Anybody who owns a bone-stock C6 convertible should really feel ashamed of himself.

Think about it: a mere 430 horsepower in a 3100 pound car? Ha! That's a worse power-to-weight ratio than a Corolla, I think! And the weak brakes, sloppy handling, and worst of all the utter, pitiful lack of style, especially in the convertible - especially in the red convertible - well, who wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen in such a clunker!

No, the owner of a C6 convertible needs to do something to rescue his reputation from the low state that follows possessing so dubious a car as that.

I'm here to help. You want a way to shed that terrible piece of junk and regain the respect of all your friends and associates. I am motivated by pure altruism. I'll make you a deal. Just get out the title, and sign that thing over to me:

W. Kiernan

Lutz, Florida, USA

and I will, very discreetly, remove it from your vicinity. In fact, I'll even stand in your driveway and proclaim (so the neighbors can hear,) "Hey thanks _your name here_, I really appreciate you storing my sorry, douchy car in your garage for however many months!" Then I'll drive it away, and you'll never have to see it again.