Perhaps you recall a few weeks back when the suspect alleged to have sent all those bombs to Trump-detractors in the mail was captured, and if you remember that, then you likely remember what he drove: exactly as you suspect, it was a white van plastered with crazy conspiracy shit. Well, guess what, American citizens! That’s our crazy-ass van now!

Yes, according to the indictment of Cesar Sayoc, specifically the Forfeiture Allegation section, all of Sayoc’s assets, which includes his Dodge Ram Van, are now property of the U.S. Government, which means that, we, the American People, now collectively own a white lunatic van:

As you can imagine, others have realized this already, and I expect that a national Who Gets The Van This Weekend list is being drafted as we speak.

Contact your local state representative to get your name on the list, I’d think.