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The 2019 Subaru Ascent Will Keep You and All 19 of Your Drinks Very Safe

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The 2019 Subaru Ascent is the biggest model that Subaru currently offers. It has 19 cupholders for maximum occupant hydration. And it will apparently do a good job of keeping you and all your beverages safe because it’s scored very well with the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety.

The Ascent earned the IIHS’s Top Safety Pick award, according to a press release. To qualify, a car has to have:

...good ratings in the driver-side small overlap front, moderate overlap front, side, roof strength and head restraint tests, as well as an acceptable or good rating in the passenger-side small overlap front test. It also must have a front crash prevention system that earns an advanced or superior rating and good-rated headlights.


The Ascent, in short, took the crashes well.

Here’s the side crash test. The interior cabin gets shaken up a bit, for sure, but overall, the car is able to divert much of the force away from the occupants.

Here are the moderate overlap and the driver-side small overlap crash tests. As you can see, the engine certainly does not get smashed into the front passengers and the car actually seems to bounce away from the stopped object.

Furthermore, the roof strength is good and so are the head restraints and seats.

All of this tells me that the 2019 Ascent is a grade-A apocalypse machine. It’s got plenty of storage room for you to haul your survival shit around with and apparently has good battering chops for your to smash your way through roadblocks to escape the zombies.