Truck YeahThe trucks are good!  

DIESEL. VAN. Did you hear that, kids? The 2019 Ford Transit Connect Wagon is a diesel van. Ford can call it whatever it wants, but it’s a freaking van. If your parents (or you) buy this, you are automatically the Cool Family on the block.

The van is available in two wheelbases, one to seat five passengers, the other to seat seven. Two sliding side doors help you load or unload people or cargo easily. Interior tech will include WiFi and Amazon Alexa compatibility.

Beneath the hood is where the M A G I C lies: a 1.5-liter EcoBlue diesel engine with an estimated 30 mpg on the highway. The van can also comes with a 2.0-liter four-cylinder gasoline engine, but why would you do that to yourself? Be different, dammit.

Both engines are paired to an eight-speed automatic transmission.

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Towing capacity comes to 2,000 pounds with you add the trailer tow package.

Onboard, the van has plenty of electronic features and sensors that make driving safer: automatic emergency braking, pre-collision assist, adaptive cruise control, blind spot assist and cross-traffic alerts.

It’s all pretty nice, but who is Ford targeting with this thing? It’s very explicit about it: cool Baby Boomers who might’ve turned to the RV life, but want something less massive and gas-sucking. From the Detroit Free Press:

“Everybody’s on the go. We never stop,” said Tim Stoehr, Ford general fleet marketing manager. “You need connectivity to remain competitive.”

The 2019 Transit Connect Wagon has up to 2,000 pounds of towing capacity with the available tow package, and a better payload than a diesel-powered Ram 1500 traditional pickup, he said.

“This is for baby boomers moving into a new phase of life,” Stoehr said.

Rebecca Lindland, executive analyst at Cox Automotive, said the Transit Connect Wagon is ideal for a do-it-yourselfer.

“This applies to a part of the market that’s underserved,” she said. “You can go with a pickup truck, but there’s not really a similar product from other manufacturer in the market.”

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The Transit Connect Wagon will go on sale this fall. Pricing has not yet been announced. Your neighbors can suck it with their lame-brain SUVs. You’re better than them, which is why you’ll buy a bitchin’ van instead.

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