Well, here’s what’s got to be the fourth horseman of the apocalypse, the Alfa Romeo Stelvio. Alfa makes a crossover now. At least it is wildly powerful, with up to 510 horsepower.
This is basically a lifted Alfa Romeo Giulia, using the same rear-drive based architecture. The Stelvio, it should be said, only gets all-wheel drive.
And yes, you can get the 510 horsepower, 2.9-liter twin-turbo V6, supposedly something like a Ferrari twin-turbo V8 with the end lopped off.
Also available will be the 2.0 liter turbo Alfa offers with 280 horsepower, and the it-has-taken-over-so-many-cars-that-Akon-got-jealous ZF 8-speed automatic. That 2.0 liter does get Fiat’s MultiAir hydraulic valve actuation tech that is definitely cool, if perhaps less than the savior we all hoped.
There’s some very neat tech in the Quadrifoglio version, what with a twin-clutch torque vectoring system at the rear and a carbon fiber driveshaft. Carbon fiber brakes come with the car, too.
If you’re going to make an abhorrent crime against the automotive gods, at least make one hilariously quick.