The 2011 Indian Grand Prix in Crayola

Illustration for article titled The 2011 Indian Grand Prix in Crayola

It’s only race two into Formula One’s first significant post-season since 2004 and the tedium is already mounting. Even if the new track in India is pretty damn good. Warning: spoilers.

The last, most dominant year of Schumacher-era Ferrari was 2004, when the man with the scary chin won 13 of 18 races and the fifth straight title in a row. Sebastian Vettel is now at 11 of 17, and it was actually a very interesting and complex season until it was over in Suzuka. But now it’s over and unless Bernie Ecclestone organizes a Grand Prix between Vettel and a Saturn V, the remaining two races in Abu Dhabi and, sadly, at Interlagos will be just as pointless and tedious as the ones in Korea and India, little more than exercises for Seb Vet to polish his inhuman stats to an even fiercer shine.

That said, the new circuit in New Delhi is great. Aside from the overly long main straight and all the construction dirt, it has great flow and character, and even a fancy blind corner on the top of a hill. But it just so happened that the inaugural Indian Grand Prix was little more than an encore for the most dominant car-driver combination since Schumacher in the F2004. Yeah, guess the results: starting from pole, Vettel was already 1.3 second ahead by the end of lap one, he led every lap of the race and even drove the fastest lap. It’s time for a new season!


It will be a season to watch Jenson Button in, who’s become the first man to beat Lewis Hamilton in the same F1 car. Button was fantastic in India, collecting yet another second place finish, and keeping Vettel under continous pressure, ready to pounce on any mistake. I was terribly worried for him two years ago, leaving scrappy little Brawn for the lion’s den of McLaren under Lewis Hamilton, and look what’s happened.

In other news, Hamilton collided with Felipe Massa yet again. This time, it was officially Massa’s fault. We need a proper fistfight. Or a new season. Or a new season of fistfights.

You do miss the ludicrous cliffhangers of 2007, 2008 and 2010, don’t you?

The 2011 Formula One Season in Crayola

Australia | Malaysia | China | Turkey | Spain | Monaco | Canada | Europe | Britain | Germany | Hungary | Belgium | Italy | Singapore | Japan | South Korea | India | Abu Dhabi | Brazil


Illustration by Peter Orosz. Gallery curated by Natalie Polgar. Photography by Paul Gilham/Getty Images, Andrew Caballero-Reynolds/Getty Images, Mark Thompson/Getty Images and Clive Mason/Getty Images.

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GuardDuck_Quick draw anger management

Peter, you sound like a Red Sox fan when they're not going to win the pennant..."no point in watching now." Sorry, but to me it's still FORMULA. ONE. RACING! It's not about one driver or one team, it's about the whole show. Of course, the ironic part is that I probably won't be able to watch the last 2 races anyways because I have DirecTV and they're cutting SPEED over a financial dispute... **big sad penguin face**

...and now, my favorite quotes from

the 2011 Formula One GP of India weekend:

"...all the things that I hated about this place when I arrived suddenly became all the things that I loved." - Will Buxton

"Vut are you doingk?" - David Hobbs

"Let's get more on Hamilton's situation in the pit lane with Will." - Bob Varsha (heh heh, he said moron...)

"Probably the first time New Jersey's ever been compared to Monte Carlo." - Steve Matchett

"If we have to lose Korea going to New York, I think that's a fair swap. Don't you?" - Will Buxton

"Lucky he didn't go flying off into the boonies...or whatever the boondocks are called in India." - David Hobbs

"The only man with a longer one is the World Champion, Sebastian Vettel." - Bob Varsha

"Those exhausts sound like a bucket of bolts, doesn't it?" - David Hobbs

"It might possibly maybe be legal." - Steve Matchett

"But it does highlight exactly what Formula One technology is...there is a potential loophole in the regulations it *must* be exploited at all costs." - Steve Matchett

"The drivers are the last link in the chain and they make the car dance." - Steve Matchett

"Keep up with the latest David Hobbs tweets. Blinding insights in each and every one of them." - Bob Varsha

"I think that they will get a lot out of having something very, very, prestiguous." - Mark Webber

"Pretiguous indeed." - Bob Varsha

"Let's have a listen..." - Matchett

"Oooo!" - Hobbs

"Ohhh!" - Varsha

"Awww." - Matchett

"Nasty..." - Hobbs

"I think he's got a gearbox full of neutral right now." - Varsha

"...Williams press office has just come out to tell us that they suspect it might've been the gearbox. Really?" - Will Buxton

"Oh! My goodness me, those two have done it again!" - David Hobbs

"Mr. Bean certainly has an opinion." - Bob Varsha

"He had crosshairs in his mirrors on that occasion, I think." - Bob Varsha

"...and there is Massa's 150 Italia. 150 years of Italian unification. I bet that is news to a lot of Italians." - Steve Matchett

"I'm one of the judges and I'm sure Andrew's grandfather is going to try to influence my decision." - Bob Varsha

"He might well slip you large amounts of dough." - David Hobbs

"Only player in test cricket history with more than 50 centuries, he's got almost 100, and I have no idea what it is I just said." - Bob Varsha

"You led every single lap, fastest lap, pole position. Not bad." - 'Rocky' Rocquelin