Tesla Introduces 'Romance Mode' and On-Demand Fart Noises Because Tesla Is About Making the World Better

A recent update to the firmware in all Tesla cars (it’s up to version 9.0.2018.48.12 now, I’m told) added a couple of fun and goofy Easter Eggs for Tesla owners to enjoy even when they’re just sitting in their Teslas in their garages, possibly masturbating. The Easter Eggs are called Romance Mode, Pole Position, and Emissions Testing Mode. That last one simulates farts.

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Here’s what each new feature does:

• Romance Mode: Provides a video of a roaring fireplace on the car’s center-stack LCD screen (or, only screen on the Model 3). According to the on-screen description

“Experience the warmth of our virtual fireplace with Romance Mode. To enable Romance Mode when your car is in Park, tap the Tesla “T” at the top center of the touchscreen, then tap the fireplace logo in your Easer Egg tray.”

• Pole Position: This is an adaption of the iconic old-school racing game Pole Position, still in glorious, pixel-chunky 8-bits but recast with a Tesla and set on Mars. You can only play in Park, and you use the car’s steering wheel to control the car in the game.

Now why does that sound so familiar?

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• Emissions Testing Mode: Finally, a way to turn your $80,000 state-of-the-art car into a giant Whoopee cushion. You can pick from multiple fart sounds, including Not a Fart, Short Shorts Rapper, Falcon Heavy, Ludicrous Fart, Neurastink, Boring Fart, and what seems to be a fart randomizer. Interestingly, there’s options for controlling what seat the fart appears to be emitting from, which must use some interesting acoustic control.

Here’s a video of a delighted owner playing around with the new toys:

I reached out to Tesla for details on the acoustic fart positioning system and details on the other features (will the fireplace also increase the cabin heat?) and will update when/if I get a response.

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)