You Now Have To Be Awake And In The Drivers Seat To Operate A Tesla

Illustration for article titled You Now Have To Be Awake And In The Drivers Seat To Operate A Tesla
Screenshot: Twitter

After countless documented samples of abuse and a number of tragic accidents, Tesla is finally implementing some real driver monitoring system (DMS) improvements for their Level 2 semi-automated Autopilot system, supplementing the inadequate method of detecting a hand on the steering wheel with a driver-facing camera that should confirm a driver is paying attention to the road. This is a good, important change! This article is not just to shit on Tesla!

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While the adoption of a camera-based DMS has been expected for quite a while, mostly because the camera hardware already exists in Models 3 and Y, even though the use of those driver-facing cameras was said to be something very different:

Vandalism monitoring for a “robotaxi future?” Uh-huh. Since Tesla is nowhere close to robotaxis anytime soon, and I’m pretty skeptical a current Model 3 or Y would even be capable of that, this never seemed like a really likely explanation.

Noted Tesla hacker Green the Only dug into Tesla’s code in April and found that the camera appears to be tracking driver monitoring information:

Now, it appears that this is official, with a software update release note from Tesla stating:

“The cabin camera above your rearview mirror can now detect and alert driver inattentiveness while Autopilot is engaged. Camera data does not leave the car itself, which means the system cannot save or transmit information unless data sharing is enabled.”

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There are also tweets from owners showing the notification on the car’s screen:

Illustration for article titled You Now Have To Be Awake And In The Drivers Seat To Operate A Tesla
Screenshot: Twitter
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This is a big deal because it will potentially help to eliminate or at least significantly reduce the ability of drivers to fool Autopilot into thinking they’re paying attention — which, remember, you absolutely have to do because you could be required to take over driving with little or no warning.

There have been many ways to fool the torque sensor in the steering wheel, from cramming an orange in the wheel to dangling some rolls of tape from it, like Consumer Reports did. A torque sensor has never been an adequate means to monitor a driver; I think automation expert Dr. Missy Cummings of Duke University put it most succinctly when she said:

“The takeaway is torque monitoring on the driving wheel is terrible and should be outlawed that should not happen at all...we should never use that as a proxy for driver monitoring.”

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Now it seems Tesla will at last be on par with camera-based DMS systems like GM’s SuperCruise, and we should see examples of Autopilot abuse go down, at least on Tesla Models 3 and Y.

Of course, not everyone is happy, because, come on, this is Earth. Despite Tesla’s statement that no camera data will leave the car, dedicated but ashamed nose-pickers and others who don’t wish to be stared at by a computer while driving have decried the perceived privacy invasion.

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I mean, it is a camera pointed at you, and there is potential for abuse of that camera data. This is the case with any internet-connected camera that sees you. It’s possible that someone at Tesla could pull up a lot of video footage of people sitting in their cars, but this was a possibility since the cameras were installed, and, hopefully, the benefit of real driver monitoring will outweigh the hypothetical privacy risks.

I think the most eye-rolling reaction to the camera-based DMS may be this:

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I’m not exactly sure who the “they” is that might get the treat of watching this Tesla owner get fellated while he’s driving? The car? Some random employee at Tesla? Elon Musk, having a quick, mind-clearing wank to streams of his customers getting orally pleasured in their cars?

Also, I like that this dude not only implies he may routinely go for a drive in his underwear, but that someone might “get to” see it. Oh boy.

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Really, though, any man who has used an automatic flushing urinal shouldn’t even care about this. You do realize that the way those flush is with a camera sending video to some dude in front of a colossal bank of monitors, watching everyone pee, then issuing the flush command when they’re done?

They tried to automate it, but got too many false positives. So now it is banks of monitors, with bored employees looking at a huge video grid of peeing dicks.

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I may have made that urinal part up, but the overall point still stands: real driver monitoring has been needed for Autopilot, so this is a positive development.

So, maybe wear clothes and don’t get fellated while driving.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

DISCUSSION

weeks151
Weeks

Meh, the more shit Tesla does the less I want a Tesla. I wouldn’t allow a camera to be pointed at my face to begin with, so it would have to be gaffer taped. Now it appears disabling the interior cameras on the car disables one of the features Tesla is most proud of. I mean, I don’t want to use Autopilot anyway, but I suspect the car would get kind of annoying if I started disabling the things about it I don’t want.

I still want a Tesla battery, motor, and charger system. If I could figure out how to shoehorn them into a rail-buggy I’m certain it would be an absolute riot.