Sometimes, you have to let your inner asshat out. But if you do, make sure you're behind the wheel of one of these commenter-chosen cars for the full effect. Backwards baseball cap and shiny t-shirt not optional.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day — our Jalopnik summer feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Photo Credit:Dirk A. Photography
10.) Tuned Honda Del Sol
Suggested By: DasWauto
Why It's For Asshats: These Hondas of the sun are actually Hondas of the jerk. Slammed, fart-canned, and body-kitted almost beyond recognition, it shouldn't come as a surprise when what used to be an alright little pseudo-sports car cuts across three lanes of traffic and flips everyone behind it the bird. Screw you, too, buddy.
Photo credit: claude.attard.bezzina
9.) Pontiac Firebird
Suggested By: Jack Trade
Why It's For Asshats: I know I've been fooled more than once seeing a red one of these, nostrils flared, baring down on me on the highway, thinking it's something cooler, only to have it shoot past on the right with some dude in a tank top with a bad haircut and an unlit cigarette at the helm. I'm not saying that's always the case, but stereotypes do have to come from somewhere.
Photo credit: MGSpiller
8.) Jeep Cherokee SRT8
Suggested By: BrtStlnd
Why It's For Asshats: My most recent contact with an SRT8 came at a what's-left-of-The Grateful Dead show a few weeks ago. Walking through the parking lot on the way to the venue, we spotted a lowered and tinted Cherokee SRT8 perched right across the white line, taking up two spaces. On the way out of the lot, after the show, the same car was trying to cut the line to the exit. Like I said before, stereotyping people is bad, unless it's so true it's unavoidable. Bad karma, man.
7.) Stance'd Volkswagen Golf GTI
Suggested By: Lone, Dork
Why It's For Asshats: Muffler? What muffler? It'll scrape anyway, so why bother? I can't imagine it's much fun to drive a car like that, being worried that some pebble in the road is going to tear off the front bodykit, but must you translate that fear into asshattery?
Photo credit: Maestor_Shake
6.) Lifted pickup truck that's never offroaded
Suggested By: Jutts
Why It's For Asshats: Compensating much? These things are just as obnoxious as their owners. From the big pipes spewing out diesel fumes to the big tires coming up to your car's window, there's nothing subtle or classy about a lifted truck that never sees off-road action.
Photo credit: SoulRider.222
5.) Mansory Panamera
Suggested By: They call me the Beav
Why It's For Asshats: The Beav's explanation is pretty much spot on: "Not only would I want to offend people by taking up 2 handicap spaces, I'd want to permanently damage their eyesight." There's nothing more asshatty than that.
4.) Toyota Prius with Obnoxious Bumper Stickers
Suggested By: Kate's Dirty Sister
Why It's For Asshats: It's important to remember that asshats come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe they're obnoxious not because they're loud and they cut you off, but because of their smug air of superiority. They might drive a Prius and feel the need to broadcast their worldview right off their back bumper and into your car when you're stuck in traffic behind them. Their holier-than-thou mindset can be just as grating as the guy who pulls up in the next car...
Photo credit: istargazer
3.) Laguna Seca Blue BMW E46 M3
Suggested By: hillstrubl
Why It's For Asshats: They're always that M&M shade of blue, and they've always got gelled hair and a backwards baseball cap on. I've never come across an M3 in this color that wasn't owned by a guy who could have been on Jersey Shore. One particular example stands out- he'd gotten his 20-inch custom rims painted to match the car. It's not necessarily an unappealing color, there's just almost always unappealing people inside.
Photo credit: The Pug Father
2.) Brabus Mercedes-Benz G-Class
Suggested By: Crossdrilled
Why It's For Asshats: For the asshat with more money than taste, perhaps a G-Wagen that can get from 0-62 miles per hour in 4.3 seconds? When a Hummer just won't do, go full douchebag and pony up for a Brabus-modified G-Class. Imagine how baller you'll look when you and your fly posse roll out to the club in one of these 700 horsepower, 811 pound-feet of torque, V12 behemoths, yo.
1.) Hamann Tycoon EVO
Suggested By: jbh1126
Why It's For Asshats: The G-Class would look relatively discrete when parked next to our final asshat-mobile: the Hamann Tycoon EVO. This thing starts life as a BMW X6M, and gets a gigantic widebody kit, lowered suspension, supersized wheels, and a smorgasbord of go-fast parts (increasing the horsepower rating to 670 from 555 ponies stock from BMW) jammed under the hood. It looks ugly, is probably too fast for most asshats to keep on the road, and is pretty much just unnecessary. Douchebags and asshats of the world, if you need something big and Bavarian, just go buy M5s and try to keep the shiny side up!
Photo credit: RGT3 Pics