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Tell Us Your Most Insane Road Rage Story

Screengrab of Terminator 2 via YouTube
Screengrab of Terminator 2 via YouTube
CountersteerYour true stories of good and bad things that happen in cars.

Most of us have experienced road rage at some point or another. It could have come from within. It could have come from without.

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I don’t turn into a raging mess when I’m behind the wheel. I’ll shout, but that’s about it. I have been on the receiving end, though. Here’s what happened one time.

We were pulling onto a highway via an onramp. The highway was reasonably crowded with other cars, so we exercised extra caution when merging. And I guess we didn’t merge quickly enough for the guy in the SUV behind us because he zoomed right up to our car’s bumper, tailgating like you wouldn’t believe.

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After a while, he got tired of that, I suppose, and sped up to pass us and then merged right in front us, nearly scraping bumpers. Nettled, we moved over a lane to get away from him and be done with it.

No dice.

Instead, he swerved over to the passing lane in front of us to try and block us. What the hell, right? So we merged back over and he swerved to follow, almost swerving himself off the road in the attempt. Keep in mind that there are plenty of other cars around us at this point. He could have hit any of them.

A pocket of traffic opened up in the left lane and we changed again and rode the faster speeds to finally pass him. And just as we did, he rolled his window down. A face apoplectic with rage leered at us, teeth bared in a ferocious snarl. The wind was whipping his words away, but it was very clear that he wasn’t using the nice words in a nice inside volume. He reached out the window and made a gun symbol with his fingers and mimed shooting us.

To this day, I still don’t know what we did wrong. Maybe he just hated Audis.

Has something like this happened to anyone else? Have you witnessed something like this happening?

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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DISCUSSION

I used to drive RT24 to 95/128 everyday to go up to Waltham Ma (come to think about it, I should have put that in the horror/creepy stories from the other day). Miserable traffic. That road really brings out the worst in people. I have seen everything from people eating salads while reading a book (while driving) to people stopping to let their dogs out to go the bathroom (in the middle of 4 lanes of stopped traffic) to a shirtless woman flipping to the bird to anyone she thought deserved it (literally everyone).

One day there was a huge accident on RT24 so I decided to take 495 to 95 to 128 instead of my usual route. When you get to the end of 95 for the 128 split, there a giant signs that say “form single line”. About 5 of them; however, the road is large enough for two normal cars side by side due to the sharp curve. Traffic is also slow enough to allow this.

I usually try to be in the middle as possible here because a.) its the friggin law and b.) there would be a lot less traffic if people actually understood how to merge - two to one lane is a lot smoother than three to one.

Anyways, this one day I was in the left lane (because left lane split) and this woman comes flying up on the right and cuts the person off behind me - it had to be less than a foot from my bumper. Whatever, it is common. No big deal I just keep on doing my thing trying to create distance between me and the car in front in case this woman rear ends me. This woman starts to flip out because there is not a 2 car lengths in front of me instead of 2 inches. She start honking her horn, flashing her lights - mind you I haven’t left 1st gear in about 10 minutes at this point - I just keep ignoring her.

I go to change the station and just hear this bass. The bass is so loud is was shaking my car and I’m assuming all of New England as well. I look over and see this guy in a white SL550 convertible with white leather. The dude looked exactly like you would imagine person driving a white on white SL550 convertible would look like. Definitely well off, probably high on cocaine and you knew he had a short fuse with a nasty temper. Remember this - this is important for the moral of the story.

The woman behind me - driving a early 2000s Rav4 kept freaking out, for well over 20 minutes (mind you we are still on the off ramp). She kept creeping up, getting inches away from hitting me. At the end of the ramp there is a section of rumble strip that is filled with broken glass and other left overs from various accidents. Normally people don’t tread these waters but this woman...

She goes there. She is now on the left of me. Mr. SL is on the right. This one lane is now three lanes wide and the woman just keeps beeping, flipping me off, yelling. She is just going mental inside her car hitting her steering wheel and literally making her mini SUV shake because of how nuts she is going. I’m just looking at her confused. I have no idea what her issue is. Then - it happens.

I see her start rolling down her window, which was comical because of how pissed she was and it was a crank (or I assume it was because if she could roll down her passenger side window easily, she would have for what she did next). She then takes her Dunks coffee and hook shots it over her car. She must have been a lefty because it cleared not only her car but my car as well. Remember how I said the SL was a convertible? Well yeah, the top was down and guess where that mochacoffeechino landed - right in the lap of Mr. SL.

Now - what I should have done was not look at him. What I should have done was not laugh. What I should have done was not made eye contact. I did all of these things. This guy is mad. He has at least 100lbs on me he thinks I did it. He doesn’t even put the car in park before he gets out and start coming over to my drivers side window. He is yelling - furious as he should be. My window was taking FOREVER to roll up (stupid slow Subaru electric windows). The woman - gone. The dude is pounding on my car, pulling on my handles as somehow he thinks I would unlock my doors. I have no idea how this guy didn’t brake my window but I am happy he didn’t.

Luckily out of the dozens of cars behind me, one of them was a construction company vehicle with about 6 guys in it and they saw the whole thing. It takes four of them to pull this dude away from my car and sit get him to the ground to start to calm his ass down. I finally get calm enough myself and get out of the car and go over to another dude who just had his car rear-ended by a driverless SL (remember when i said he didn’t put his car in park?). I make sure he is alright, he puts the car in park finally - no damage to either car and one of the guys who was holding Mr. SL down comes over and says he wants to talk to me.

The guy actually turned out to be pretty decent. He was crying by the time I got over to him. Turns out he just lost his dad and it was the old man’s SL that he had bought himself for his retirement. He had just come back from Iraq and the day his plane landed his father had a heart attack so he didn’t even get to see him. On top of that his wife left him while deployed and he was on his way to the first interview that he had gotten a call back from since he got state side (which he now has to go to in a soiled suit). We wrap up, he gives the group of construction guys all hugs and handshakes - some of them have tears in his eyes because we all really feel bad for this dude now. The guy who’s car got rear ended didn’t want to report the accident because no damage was done. He comes over to me and tries to give me $100 because he thought he dented my hood which I refuse. The dude just starts crying again. I shake his hand and wish him good luck on his interview and we get in our car to sit in more traffic but by this time was moving a little to my amazement.

Moral of the story - Don’t judge a book by its cover. Sometimes people people get pushed too far, our veterans especially. You have no idea what people are going through and you have no idea how they will react in any given situation. There is no need to

To the woman who caused this - seriously, where the hell did you run off to? I hope karma has caught up to you by now.

To Mr. SL - I really hope you are doing well. I hope you landed that job and I hope you have found peace in your life. If you read this I still owe you that beer.

To anyone else - If hell did exist, RT128 would be the road to it. Avoid it if at all possible.