I know some of you filthy animals are just dying to tell us your best, worst, and funniest coital car adventures. So just post ‘em here already, yeah?

Since it’s Jalopnik question-of-the-day protocol to kick off the asking with an example I guess I’m sort of obligated to share one whether you want to read it or not...

So this one time my then-girlfriend were steaming up the windows of my family’s Honda Odyssey (first-gen four door) (that’s not relevant to the story but it is awesome) at the end of her long gravel driveway. In my haste and excitement I was just keeping the van stopped with the brake, vehicle in drive.

Things escalated beyond what we could do in the front and “because VAN” we started scrambling to the back. My foot moved off the brake and the Odyssey started traveling forward.

Now keep in mind; this is a four-thousand-something pound van with an Accord engine on crappy tires in gravel. Forward motion in drive with no throttle input was almost imperceptible... especially for an eighteen year old Andrew seeing boobs for maybe the third time ever.

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But the van was moving alright. Up, down, side-to-side, and forward. Slowly, steadily, forward. Until it went face-first into a robust fence with the dullest “thud” that nobody noticed except her dog, who was very vocally excited about this giant machine every-so-gently grinding itself into the driveway. The van only suffered a scratched license plate, my parents never found out until they inevitably read this. Crap.

Your turn, what’s the craziest act of lovemaking you’ve ever done in a vehicle?


Contact the author at andrew@jalopnik.com.