Subaru Impreza Takes A Dump Truck Ride To Guatemala

Illustration for article titled Subaru Impreza Takes A Dump Truck Ride To Guatemala

While traveling through rural Pennsylvania doing untold, illicit things, we spotted an all too familiar set of tail lamps sticking out of the back of a dump truck. This is its story.

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Illustration for article titled Subaru Impreza Takes A Dump Truck Ride To Guatemala

Rolling down some unnamed, unmaintained backwoods highway in a VW van far too overloaded with camera gear, we noticed just the rough edge of an iconic rear fascia barely nudging its way out of the back of a grimy dump truck. "Captain to engine room, full stop."

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We gingerly approach the owners of said truck, hulking DSLRs in hand, and kindly inquired why such a car was jammed into such a truck. The wire-mouthed man only replied, "We in trouble?" After a solid ten minutes of allaying his fears by explaining that we were not after him for committing some crime, he informed us that he's loading up junked cars to be parted out in Guatemala. Unable or unwilling to explain his business model, we still came away impressed that certain economic forces exist that make it viable to load junked cars in rural PA and drive them to southern Central America and still turn a profit. It seems the end game of this rolled Impreza RS was to be disassembled and live anew amongst the still-fighting Subies of the far south.

Illustration for article titled Subaru Impreza Takes A Dump Truck Ride To Guatemala

As we were leaving, we noticed his comrades were measuring up a similarly wrecked Kia Sephia and VW Jetta. They were sizing up the length of the vehicles to fit transversely, four cars in total, along their bright orange heavy equipment trailer. Bravo.

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DISCUSSION

Reminds me of a 94 Camaro I picked up.

It was a Saturday morning. I was working for a friend at a diesel shop where we maintained a fleet of trash trucks (hey, extra money is extra money and it paid well!). Well, later that afternoon we were to go and purchase a 1994 Camaro that was someone's "racecar". His mom wanted it out of the garage and said if he didn't move the hulking pile of non-running junk, he was gonna hafta live in it. So we were gonna give him $1500 for it.

We had a truck and trailer all lined up and they bailed on us about an hour before we were supposed to get off for the day. So being the geniuses that we are, my friend throws me keys and says "Pull the Granite in the shop." He meant the Mack Granite chassis rolloff. Hauls a max of 220,000 pounds or something crazy like that.

Well boss man sees me pulling it in and asks what's up. My friend says "Oh, I picked it up earlier from the dump so Mike (the regular driver) could go home early and I noticed some shifting looseness. I wanted to check it out before it became a bigger problem." He says "Oh, ok. You gonna be here a bit then?" My friend says "Yeah, we'll lock up." Boss says "Alright, don't stay too late, it's a nice day." Then the boss leaves and we are there all alone.

My friend jumps in the truck, runs around the corner and picks up a 40 yarder and drops it in the shop. He breaks out the welder and I grabbed some scrap pieces of round stock we use for building hinges on dumpsters. He starts heating round stock with the torch and bends 4 U shapes and then cuts them off 3 inches high. We weld them in to the floor of the dumpster and he threw tie down straps in the back. He slams the dumpster shut and hauls it on to the rolloff. He pulls around front while I lock up the building and gates. He tells me "Jump in, we're gonna get a Camaro."

We pull up to the kids house and his mom doesn't know what to make of it. The car is in the backyard sinking in mud. So we drop the dumpster in the street and back the rolloff up the driveway and use the cable winch for the dumpster to get the car out on pavement so we can push it. His mom was worried the cable would break. My friend says "Lady, it yanks forty thousand pound dumpsters up on to the rails. A thirty five hundred pound Camaro stuck in the mud is hardly "taxing" for it."

Well we get the Camaro to the dumpster and push it in, tie it down and shut the door. My friend pulls around front, picks the dumpster up with the rolloff and yanks the whole mess right up on the rails. I hand the kid $1500 cash and get him to sign the title and we're off. As we were pulling away I see the kid's mom in stunned amazement on the front lawn saying "Holy sh...."

Unloading was the opposite of loading of course. I heated up the U's with a torch and used the 12 pound sledge to break the welds. Ground what was left down and painted in primer. Boss never knew and we got the Camaro, fixed it the next weekend and sold it for $4500.