Stupid Ad Shows Idiot Cramming Bags In a 911 Engine To Sell Luggage

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Hey! Hey you! Idiot up there in the ad for Golla luggage! The one with your suspenders down like you just finished taking a really taxing crap? The one about to load his new expensive luggage into the engine of that Porsche? Yes, you. You're an idiot. A big dumb idiot who's about to get his clothes mulched.

Actually, I'm probably being too harsh on you. It's not your fault — you're just some model holding what looks like an oversized bowling bag and staring into the intake manifold and wondering just what the fuck you're supposed to be doing. You're not the drooling simpleton who had one job — one job — to do: get a fancy car with a trunk and then shoot the model about to place the luggage in the car trunk.

The problem here, of course, is that car is a mid-2000s, 996 model Porsche 911, and as such is pretty much the absolute only newish, high-end car that whoever set up this photo could get that would make zero sense in this context. Because that model is about to shove his bag into the engine compartment.


The 911 is, and always has been, rear-engined. It has a trunk, up front, but for some reason the photographer or art director or talking planaria in charge of this ad decided that would be confusing. So, rear trunk it is, and then they went and picked one of the only fucking cars you can find with an engine in the rear.

Assuming they wanted to shoot this ad from the rear of the car, you know how many other premium sports cars they could have picked to use? A shitload. I know, I counted. A Jaguar. An Aston Martin. Some Ferraris. A GT-R. A Viper. A Mercedes-Benz AMG CLK. Sure, there's mid-engined cars that'd have the same problem, but still, there's no reason for this.

You know, as people who love cars, it's not like we demand everyone else in the world give a damn about what we're interested in. But there's certain fundamental things that would at least give a minimum amount of respect. Like, don't pretend that one of the most iconic rear-engined cars in the world has a magic trunk back there. And don't pretend even people who don't know cars will wonder why that trunk is so extensively ventilated.


I do admit, part of me would love to see this guy, eyes not quite pointing in the same directions, forcefully cram that bag into that engine compartment, blank look on his face, and really pack it in there. Then, start up the car, and enjoy as that beefy flat-six sucks and drags the bag by the straps into the whirling cooling fan, where it gets julienned and tangled and eventually catches fire and starts burning, while the idiot behind the wheel just stares vacantly ahead, a thin icicle of drool hanging from a corner of his mouth.

This is like having an ad with a guy cooking, and he's loading a pot roast into the dishwasher. Sure, it looks pretty much like an oven from the outside, who's gonna know?


We know, you miserable duffel-bag selling jackasses. We know.

(Thanks all the commenters and people who posted this stupid, stupid ad!)