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Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon

Our friend Kitt in Denver sends in these photos of an evil-looking '66 Country Squire she spotted menacing her neighborhood. Now, when you take a family hauler and attempt to make it look mean, you're walking a pretty thin line between looking good and looking lame (the same rule applies to tattoos, of course). We think bolting 1981-punk-style spikes on a car is a longshot bet, but the overall effect here gets the Jalop Stamp-O-Approval.

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Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon


You see, this wagon definitely falls on the mean side of the mean/silly line (though not without a modicum of irony, which we also like).

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Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon


First of all, it's got Cherry Bombs!

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon


Second, it's got a big-block. No wimpy 289 for this Country Squire!

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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The backyard flame job works pretty well, too.

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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The front end of the big Ford for '66 looked somewhat similar to the '65, with similar stacked headlights, but the grille was quite different.

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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The Denver Not So Welcome Wagon would like to extend an extra-special non-welcome to hippies.

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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A lowered 60s wagon with dogdish hubcaps just seems right. Of course, we also like vintage wagons in full-on suburban fake-woodgrain regalia. Or jacked-up vintage wagons with blowers sticking a couple feet out of the hood. Hell, we just like vintage wagons!

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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These spikes are just begging for a lawsuit from a perforated pedestrian or bike rider. But, ya see, that's the owner's way of telling the world he doesn't fear The Man's legal system. The Man keeps you down! The Man steals your soul! Fight the power!

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Cars don't rust as quickly in Denver as they would in the Midwest, but they are subject to a certain amount of winter road salt. It's good to see this 41-year-old street-driven car in such solid shape.

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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Wait, it's a Country S!

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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(Insert obligatory "Fords used to have style" rant here)

Illustration for article titled Spiked Squire: Denver Rolls Out The Not-So-Welcome Wagon
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The factory steel wheels with dogdish hubcaps look great, though we'd prefer to see wider ones with meatier tires. Still, the effect works well.

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DISCUSSION

@MalFuller: Dude, he's not an artist, he's just precise. An artist would use shaped spikes so they'd punch holes in you that spelled out a message, something like "EAT ME."