Whenever I take the New Jersey Turnpike anywhere — which I generally try to avoid doing as much as possible — it kind of happens in a fugue state. I’m not conscious as I’m driving it, I repress it once it’s over, but I’m still left with that overriding feeling that I disliked every minute of the experience and I never want to do it again.
And I feel this way without having ever witnessed anything on the level of this Reddit user who captured a trio of Camaros stopping traffic last Sunday on Interstate 78 heading west, right after a massive toll plaza. To my fellow tri-staters, I never considered I-78 was part of the Turnpike; I really only think Turnpike when I’m on 95. Apparently, 78 comprises the Newark Bay Extension portion of the Turnpike, according to Wikipedia. (I’ve been taking these roads for 23 years! The more you know.)
Anyway, this particular chokepoint of 78 sucks on a normal day, because after the plaza, the highway splits into like seven lanes. Trying to get all the way over to one side from the other is a dance with death. These idiots decided to make this already bad situation even worse by fucking around in the right half of the zone where the lanes disperse.
We see three Camaros: two red coupes and a silver convertible to the left. The jackasses in the coupes are watching their buddy in the droptop drift about, slowly and aimlessly. Commenters on Reddit have taken to call these “donuts,” but the car never actually completes a donut; it just kind of meanders pathetically. At one point, the middle Camaro shows reverse lights, indicating that perhaps the driver didn’t have the utmost faith in their friend’s ability. The whole episode is sad and goes on entirely too long, until the silver Camaro finally fucks off and their cohorts give chase.
From what I can gather, no local news has covered this episode, and police didn’t respond to it. It makes you wonder how often shit like this actually happens and we’re just not aware of it, because it starts and ends before authorities catch on.
I appreciate the energy expressed by a number of respondents on Reddit, who embody the “no fucks given” mettle one needs to survive the NJ Turnpike. “If I’m driving a beater I’ll just slow roll through that,” one said. Not the safest recommendation, nor one your insurance company will probably buy. But I can’t blame the attitude.