GIF via HE4R5E

If Porsche surprises me with the revival of the 944 during auto show season and I die of shock, here’s what you should do with my body: donuts!

Hearses—especially ones from the extra-baroque heyday of broughams—are already sub-zero on my own personal Cool Wall. Fortunately, two hearse drivers at Frozen Dead Guy Days (an actual small-town celebration in Colorado) figured out a way to make hearses even cooler by drag racing them in the parking lot before heading out on the parade.

Advertisement

You can’t have a race without a donut afterwards, either. The newer Fleetwood-based hearse is clearly faster, but the older Caddy wins on style points.

Is there any better tribute to a dearly departed hoon than kicking up a big rooster tail of dirt with the hearse? Probably not.

I’m especially fond of this video taken at a classic car show, though. Just goin’ out for a rip in the hearse, no big deal.

Advertisement

How “drift my body” doesn’t end up in more wills, I’ll never know. Clearly, there are stylish rear-wheel drive vehicles out there up to the task.

Moderator, OppositeLock. Former Staff Writer, Jalopnik. 1984 "Porschelump" 944 race car, 1971 Volkswagen 411 race car, 2010 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter