GIF via HE4R5E

If Porsche surprises me with the revival of the 944 during auto show season and I die of shock, here’s what you should do with my body: donuts!

Hearses—especially ones from the extra-baroque heyday of broughams—are already sub-zero on my own personal Cool Wall. Fortunately, two hearse drivers at Frozen Dead Guy Days (an actual small-town celebration in Colorado) figured out a way to make hearses even cooler by drag racing them in the parking lot before heading out on the parade.


You can’t have a race without a donut afterwards, either. The newer Fleetwood-based hearse is clearly faster, but the older Caddy wins on style points.

Is there any better tribute to a dearly departed hoon than kicking up a big rooster tail of dirt with the hearse? Probably not.

I’m especially fond of this video taken at a classic car show, though. Just goin’ out for a rip in the hearse, no big deal.


How “drift my body” doesn’t end up in more wills, I’ll never know. Clearly, there are stylish rear-wheel drive vehicles out there up to the task.

Moderator, OppositeLock. Former Staff Writer, Jalopnik. 1984 "Porschelump" 944 race car, 1971 Volkswagen 411 race car, 2010 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS.

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