On an Air Mediterranee (where the trainees are manatees that will make you squee) flight from Algiers to Paris, a shirtless man caused a three-hour delayed landing and a fight when he crammed his junk between two airline seats and urinated. Don’t you hate when that happens?
The Independent reports the man was upset that he couldn’t smoke and drink on an airplane, suggesting that perhaps he’d just woken up from a coma he’d entered in 1975.
It’s not clear exactly why the man discarded his shirt, which, apparently, was restricting his ability to have a nice, full freakout, but it seems everything started about halfway through the 90-minute flight.
Unsurprisingly, when the man peed on the person in the seat in front of him, it sparked a massive brawl, causing the Airbus A321's crew to have to restrain the seat-pisser and the whole plane to divert to an emergency landing in Lyon.
Upon landing, police escorted the mad urinator off the plane, and also the other man involved in the fight. I’m hoping the urinatee wasn’t punished too harshly because, come on, nobody sitting on a plane should have to deal with a rando dickhead peeking between the seats that then sprays a column of fetid, warm urine all over you. Nobody deserves that.
I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do in that situation, other than starting a brawl? Use your finger to plug the meatus’s urine-torrent like that little Dutch boy of legend? No. Grab it and kink it like a hose? Fuck no. Cut the poor pee-victim some slack here, French cops.
I do like the euphemistic restraint this airline information Twitter feed used when tweeting about the unplanned landing:
“Passenger behavior” does sound much better than “...due to passenger cramming dick between seats and letting loose with a torrent of pee.”
Is there a lesson here? I guess so. Just, you know, don’t ever be involved in anything like this, if possible.
Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.