Oh, what’s that you say? Lewis Hamilton is the 2015 Formula One world champion? He amassed the most “points?” Good for him, I suppose, let him enjoy the finest dish ware in all the land. This year’s real champ is Sebastian Vettel, who won by completely freeing himself of any fucks to give, and decided to just be hilarious instead.
A whole bunch of podiums this year ended up hosting Hamilton, Mercedes teammate and arch-nemesis Nico Rosberg, and Ferrari driver Vettel. And while Hamilton and Rosberg seemed to just seethe with pure hate for each other in a way that can only manifest itself in spontaneous fits of hat-throwing, Vettel, comfortable in a way that only a person with four-time world champion status already can attain, and secure in the knowledge that his car was nowhere near fast enough at having a real shot at a title, settled nicely into the role of “guy who thinks Blonde Boy and Bulldog Man take everything way too seriously.”
Congratulations, Sebastian Vettel. You are the champion of our hearts.
h/t to r/formula1!
Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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