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Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection

Illustration for article titled Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection
Illustration for article titled Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection
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We didn't have time to inspect all 90 entrants on Friday, which means we'll be getting up at oh-dark-thirty to inspect the remaining cars before the cars hit the Stafford Motor Speedway track at noon Saturday. However, it's clear that the makings of a mighty three-way race for the Index of Effluency— the top LeMons prize, given to the terrible car that achieves beyond all expectations— are already in place.

Illustration for article titled Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection
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We've got the veteran Chard Beef Regal, a former IOE winner and a car that has singlehandedly consumed 75% of the junkyard small-block Chevy engines in Connecticut. You might remember this car from last year's race, during which the Chard Beef crew performed so many engine swaps that they should probably consider going with Velcro engine mounts— or maybe a Chrysler 318 swap— this time around.

Illustration for article titled Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection

Then we've got the Abarf Fiat 131S Mirafiori, which looks like a great race car... on paper. In practice, we expect it to have infinite a few issues, and so we didn't even bother to open the hood during the inspection. Maybe they've got a 600-horsepower SR20DET in there!

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Illustration for article titled Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection

Our first two-stroke LeMons racer! This late arrival didn't show up in time for the Friday inspection, but we'll get the chance to check out this instant IOE front-runner on Saturday morning. Excellent car choice!

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Illustration for article titled Saab 96, Fiat 131, Buick Regal Set Effluency Bar High at New England LeMons BS Inspection

I'll probably be too busy to do much in the way of daytime race updates, but you never know— check in tomorrow and you might see some surprises!

Disclosure: Murilee Martin gets crazy baksheesh for his work on the LeMons Supreme Court

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DISCUSSION

Holy carp.

I lurves SAABs, I especially lurves the 96, and I hope and pray that whoever is running that thing is a clutch swappin witch doctor. 'Cause if he ain't, pardon my french, he's fucked.