Ronda Rousey Will Sell You Her Honda Only If You Don't Jerk Off To It

Want to own the 2005 Honda Accord UFC superstar Ronda Rousey once lived in? Of course you do. On the plus side, it’s the LX model and it’s full of all kinds of Ronda Rousey’s personal items. On the minus side, it needs a transmission, it’s a little pricey for an ‘05 Accord, and she says you can’t jerk off to it.


Really, she actually told TMZ Sports

“I love it very much and hope that the next owner will be someone who will love and respect it. And not some crazy super fan who jerks off to it every day.”

I’m guessing “jerks off to it” probably also precludes “in” and “on” it, which rules it out for most of the eBay car-buying public, right? I’m pretty sure about 60 percent of the cars bought on eBay Motors are purchased so people can have more convenient mobile beat-shacks. I think I read that somewhere.


Anyway, if you want a non-driving Accord for about $20,000 that’s filled with someone’s crap, you probably can’t beat this one. Rousey actually did live in the car while she was struggling at the beginning of her career, and, if you’re a fan of hers (and why wouldn’t you be — the woman is seriously impressive) then I bet you’d love all the patches and hats and stuff, and there are some “medals and figurines” glued inside the car as well. One of the glued things is the three-eyed fish from the Simpsons, which is always good to have in a car. And the center armrest storage area is chock full of crap, and it looks like a few bucks in change, too.


Just, you know, don’t get in there and masturbate.


Rousey also wrote a little message on the car’s dash:

You were the best noble steed I could ask for. You never broke down, you hung in there when I couldn’t afford to change your oil. I could always depend on you. I love you, enjoy retirement.


If nothing else, this just reinforces the idea that cars are simply not like other large consumer goods. Did Ronda Rousey inscribe something so heartfelt when she got rid of her old washing machine? I bet not. Cars are special, and that goes for any car, even something like this relatively anonymous workhorse Honda. This Accord was there for this woman when she needed it most, and that bond is real.


Still, even with that in mind, no touching yourself in the car. Seriously. This is not someone you want mad at you.

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