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Road Raging Bicyclist Arrested In Most San Franciscan Crime Imaginable

Police in San Francisco this weekend arrested a bicyclist for attacking a ZipCar with a u-lock during a Critical Mass ride. Watch the below video of the attack, feel its seething and pointless rage, and witness what may be the most stereotypically San Franciscan crime of recent memory.

The suspect, a large mustache with a human body attached to it named Ian Hespelt, was enjoying a pleasant early evening mass ride with fellow bicycle enthusiasts when he apparently felt the bitter and glaring hatred of a lady driving a Subaru Impreza ZipCar.


She bumped him.

Hespelt would not stand for this aggression, and he hopped of his bike, and began screaming at the lady. Other bikers circled the car, screaming that they were taking down the license plate. The driver asserted it’s not even her plate, she’s in a ZipCar.


As she attempted to drive off, Hespelt started smacking her car with his bike lock, hitting the front fender and the rear driver’s side windows.

The LA Times reports that SFPD eventually spotted Hespelt outside of a Billy Joel concert the next day and arrested him on a number of charges, including inciting a riot and false imprisonment.

As a reminder, surrounding a car with a bunch of bikes rarely ends well for the cyclists.


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She bumped him.

She hit him. You can’t ‘bump’ someone if your vehicle weighs literally 100 times as much as the other vehicle. If you were in your car and got a hit by a main battle tank you wouldn’t describe it as a ‘bump’ either. It was assault.

The lady that drove the car was not in any way in danger. The critical mass ride is a protest. You wouldn’t go around ‘bumping’ pedestrians that are protesting either. The drivers actions did nothing to de-escalate the situation. She could have waited a few minutes before continuing her way. Instead she assaulted a bike rider who was merely acting like a douche, but not hurting or damaging anyone except maybe occupying two minutes of her time. She escalated the situation up to ‘physical contact’ level and in my eyes, she’s the main perpetrator.