How do you skate justice after you kill four people and injure two others in a car crash because you were drunk three times past the legal limit and hopped up on Valium? That's easy! You just need super-rich parents. They can simply pay for your rehab so you don't go to prison.

That's the sentence that Texas teenager Ethan Couch was handed today, a month after his case made national news when his defense lawyers argued he suffered from "affluenza." That meant he grew up too rich to ever develop a sense of responsibility for his actions.

CNN reports that Couch today was sentenced to 10 years' probation and to spend time in a $450,000 lock-down residential treatment facility paid for by his parents, but no prison time.


Couch, who basically sounds like a real-life version of King Joffrey in Game of Thrones, never apologized for his actions because he is emotionally stunted at the moment, his lawyer told CNN. Obviously he wasn't stunted after the crash, because that's when he told his passenger "I'm Ethan Couch. I'll get you out of this."

Let's all hope for his swift recovery in rehab and inevitable run for public office.