Renault Clio V6 Trophy, Isuzu Vehicross, Geo Tracker: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Just yesterday afternoon, Andy and I filmed a video in which I said the Scout was a more interesting pick for a convertible SUV than a Wrangler. I stand by that. Just look at this, and tell me it isn’t cooler than the eighth JK Sahara you’ve seen today.

This is an expensive Scout, but it’s also a mint Scout. The body is straight, the interior is immaculate, and it’s got bolt-on fender flares. I’m kind of over flares with exposed fasteners for street cars, but here it works.

Can we do something about Cobra replica prices? This is advertised as a 1967 AC Cobra, but it’s not that. It’s a 2004 replica. A replica that is asking $52,000. Even with a 427, that seems like a lot.

I understand that you can’t exactly go and buy an original Shelby. I also understand that kit builds are low production, and the economies of scale don’t really exist to make them cost effective, but $52,000? For a replica?

I think we should bring back cigarette advertisements on cars. I don’t want this to be taken as an endorsement of smoking or the industry’s business practices — one of the greatest threats to American public health is that smoking looks so goddamn cool — but unfortunately cigarettes have led to all of the best-looking cars in history.

Blue and gold on a Subaru? Cigarettes. A John Player Special Lotus? Cigarettes. This classic red and white on pretty much anything? That’s cigarettes, baby, and their exclusion from modern auto racing is a travesty for livery design. Don’t smoke, kids.

This gorgeous photography is the only image of this full Mini in the ad that doesn’t also feature a woman in a yellow tank top posing with it. I don’t think that woman is the seller, but nevertheless she’s in the ad nearly as much as the car. Marketplace sellers are a curious bunch.

Anyway, the car itself is a right-hand-drive Mini that’s largely disassembled. Apparently the owner took it apart to replace the engine seals, and just never got around to putting it back together. Also the front wheels are removed. And the interior is out. That’s where the engine seals go.

I bet I could live in this HiAce. This supposes I could fit on the bed, which might be a struggle for someone just under 5'11,” but I think it would be worth a shot. $15,000 for a full dwelling? With the steering wheel on the right and a four-cylinder diesel? What’s not to love?

This HiAce even has a microwave! My apartment, which costs me more in rent every year than this camper would cost to own forever, doesn’t have one of those. It doesn’t even have room for one.

As cool as the standard Vehicross is, I think we can all agree that everything is improved with the addition of more lights. As many lights as you can fit. Put bash bars on it, roof racks, and slather those in lights too. Then, you’ll have the ideal vehicle.

Don’t, however, do what this seller did. Just because you have auxiliary lights doesn’t mean you can black out your headlights. And for the love of god, don’t tint your tails to the same degree. Why do people do this?

This is less “Why do people do this?” and more “How does a person achieve such genius?” Look at how wide and ill-fitting those tires and wheels are, yet how perfect they are on the car. Look at that wing.

This is a real-life Hot Wheels. This is a toy car that went into a reverse Shrinky-Dinks machine and came out drivable. It’s perfect. I love him.

We had our time of Tenere 700s selling for above MSRP on the used market. Then we had them slowly dipping below those costs. Now, though, we’re seeing a new stage: Teneres below MSRP with desirable mods.

Obviously mods don’t increase resale value, but a high mount exhaust on a T7 is a desirable option. The Camel rear brake option is desirable. The MotoZ tires are a beloved pick by Tenere riders everywhere. This is a T7 owned by someone who knows their stuff, and it’s asking four figures.

Remember when Dodge released a set of Swinger models, and then had to very quickly explain that it was a reference to the old Dart and not to couples who see you from across the bar and really dig your vibe? Do you ever wonder if swingers bought Swingers for the bit?

Unfortunately for this Swinger, it won’t be making it to many key parties. The car is just a roller, without engine or transmission, but it does have a replaced floor pan and modernized disc brakes. Maybe take the confederate flag off the license plate mount when you buy it.

I’ve been on a big Firebird kick recently, and I’m not entirely sure what prompted it. I do think, though, that the kick has percolated into a take: Every generation of Firebird looks better than its contemporary Camaro.

This is clearly a hot take, as the Camaro is supposed to be the more beloved of the two, but it’s severely lacking in beak. Even the earliest Firebirds, contemporary with the venerated ‘68 Camaro (the car’s best year), had that beak. Gotta love it.

Remember that video I talked about earlier, in which I said that there are more interesting convertible SUVs out there than the Wrangler? Well, the Blazer is one of them. Sure, by this point in the Blazer’s run it no longer had a removable roof over the driver and passenger, but you could still pull off the rear cap. I’ll half count it.

This, of course, is no standard Blazer. This is a militarized version, complete with Detroit Diesel V8. Apparently you could get that engine in standard Blazers, but they’re hard to come by now. Get this one instead.

Land Cruiser my beloved. 100-series Land Cruiser my beloved. Even with your deeply sketchy crash repair and horrible wheels, I adore you. I want one of these so bad, and I want you to want one too.

The Land Cruiser does a bit of everything, fits in everywhere, and will run forever. In every measurable way, it’s the perfect vehicle. In the unmeasurable ways, it is too. Look at that front end and tell me it isn’t perfect. I won’t believe you.

In times as trying as these, where the very air we breathe is attempting to bake us alive, it helps to recenter ourselves. To remember what we can and cannot control, and how to differentiate between the two. It helps, most of all, to remember the bimbo motto: Don’t think, just pink.

It’s too hot out to think. There’s too much going on in the world to spare brain power for thoughts. Everything happens so much, so when you need to get yourself a vehicle to make your way through the mess, don’t think. Just pink. Pink C10, specifically. God, if only I had five grand on hand and somewhere to park a truck.

I’m realizing, as we come towards the end of our slides here, that I’m down a motorcycle from usual. Generally I go for three, which feels like a safe ratio on what is primarily a car website, but today there were just too many good cars. Both the bikes you’re getting this week are even ADVs, so I apologize for the lack of variety.

I do not, however, apologize for this pick. This is the perfect Africa Twin, from the crash bars to the gold wheels to the pannier racks. There is nowhere on Earth this Africa Twin won’t take you, and nowhere it’d leave you stranded.

I feel like you never see hardtop Geo Trackers in the wild. The company certainly made them, they sold when new, but I never seem to see any out on the street. They’re like a myth, a legend to return in our time of greatest need.

Well, here’s one that you can bring out onto the roads yourself. Be the hardtop Geo Tracker you want to see in the world. Or, y’know, the person driving it. You probably can’t be the car.