Remember To Close Your Sunroof When Masturbating

This is an important JaloPSA: If you decide to retire to your car for some personal afternoon-delight, make sure you're not parked next to a tall building with your sunroof open. NSFW.

Two days ago a man in Edmonton, Alberta was in his parked Dodge Nitro, apparently watching pornography and masturbating. Normally this wouldn't be noteworthy, but folks high in the Nexopia.com headquarters noticed a familiar rhythmic motion coming from underneath the towel laid across the gentleman's lap. Of course someone grabbed a recording device and motioned for friends come over to point and laugh. Eventually, one of the employees went down to the ground floor and by waving up to the camera, revealed the fellows folly. That's one helluva way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Hopefully he doesn't actually work in that company. [Break]

DISCUSSION

graverobber
Rob Emslie

My Dodge Nitro excites me

I like it so much

That I pull over quite often

For my johnson to touch

I need to relieve the pressure

Which build between my thighs

Due to my love for my car

And the fact I'm a guy

Every time I go out

I have a sex drive

It's because of my Nitro

That I'm glad I'm alive

So now I am famous

And have a video on Jalopnik

You might think I'm embarrassed

But don't be so quick

Because in addition to my whacking

Which is an hourly tryst

I have another charming quirk

I'm also an exhibitionist!