'Battle Hymn Of The Bro' Is Your New National Anthem For Mustang Crashes

When Regular Car Reviews finally got their hands on a 2013 Shelby GT500, we got a few brief seconds of something revolutionary—the opening lines of the “Battle Hymn of The Bro,” which now has a full version to be fully adopted immediately as our new national anthem.


Listen to it. Study it. Wake the kids up, find the tiny hand-held flag on the top shelf of the closet and stab-mount it directly through the dry-wall. Take off your hat, cover your heart, and repeat after me:

Mine eyes have glory of the coming of the Bro.

He is exiting the car show with his other Bros in-tow;

He is losing all the traction from his terrible 5-0.

He’s heading traffic on!

Glory glory hallelujah! (x3)

Another Mustang crashed!

Here come the cops a-wailin’ and his eyes are getting damp.

We have build-ed him an altar out of zip-ties and pipe-clamps.

I can read his righteous sentence by the flairs and flashing lamps.

His day is truly boned!

Glory glory hallelujah! (x3)

You brought this on yourself!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


Sent this to a Mustang driver and he got mad. On another note, how do I get a Mustang out of my living room?