Refreshed GMC Terrain Is Blowing Our Global Minds

GMC unveiled images of the Terrain’s mid-cycle styling refresh, and it’s safe to say the world will never be the same again. There has been a permeating sound of spraying liquids as people have been spit-taking almost non-stop when confronted with these images of the tweaked grille and new LED driving lights.


I’m still shaking. Breathe, Jayjay. Breathe. Okay. Please forgive me, I’m doing my best to hold my shit together in the face of a design refresh so unexpected, so mind-bogglingly — okay okay okay okay okay. Hold on. Okay. I looked right at the two images side by side. Do not do that. You can’t handle it. Just use that slider up there. It’s the equivalent of viewing an eclipse through a pinhole in cardboard.

Amid the sounds of chaos in the streets below me and the emergency calls for calm from the White House, I managed to connect via Skype with Ersatz Fabricanomen, the automotive world’s leading expert on mid-cycle design refreshes. Here’s what he said about the Terrain’s new look:

Somehow, GMC has tapped into the very wellspring of human creativity and managed to completely rework what we once thought we knew as the GMC Terrain. Now, I see we were all once fools. I declare this the year 0 AGTR (After GMC Terrain Refresh) because everything that happened before this moment no longer matters. Our world is born anew. Let the tears on my chest be my baptism.

Fabricanomen then let out a long, bellowing scream, tore off his clothes, and flung himself out a window, his face a mask of ecstasy and the existential horror of a man confronted with ultimate truth.

The GMC Terrain has been refreshed. Our world is dead. Our world is reborn. Nothing is as it once was.

The refreshed Terrain should be making it into dealer showrooms sometime later this year.


Gary Yogurt

I for one welcome the change to Sarcasm Day from April Fool’s Day. The slight adjustment in fog light position made me jump up and punch the wall.