A Seattle radio station, KIRO, found surveillance footage yesterday that showed a stunningly inept attempt to break into an employee’s Toyota Tacoma. With a mop. And the attempted auto-thiever somehow ended up unconscious at the end. Even better, they had a sportscaster give the whole thing a play-by-play.

It’s worth watching. It’s even engaging muted, but for the full effect, make sure your sound is on:

I just can’t figure out the rooftop thing at the end? Was the guy planning to take a leap off the roof and somehow harpoon the truck with the mop? I just don’t get his plan there.

Also things I don’t get: the announcer, John Curley, says something about getting “some salami and cream cheese and rub it all over his face” after the guy knocks himself out falling off the roof.

Is this salami-and-cream-cheese thing some Northwest thing? Is that what you people do to unconscious people? Make them delicious?

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Also, it’s not really related, but sort of fascinating: the announcer seems to be the only person to have gotten into a profanity-laced fight with Tom Hanks.